FS tuesday

Last weekend my wife and I had to take our cat to the vet. We came in early so we had to wait a bit. I was looking around the waiting room and saw that they were selling a lot of pet stuff, brushes, toys, food bowls with cute decorations...the usual stuff. Then something caught my eye, it was one of those yellow warning signs shaped like an hexagone that you stick on the inside of your car window and it read "DOGGY ON BOARD".
I turned to my better half and said mostly to myself out loud:
I wonder if they also make some of those for cats with " PUSSY ON BOARD" written on it instead !?

Tuesday came. It was a beautiful morning, there was a haze in the air and the sun played hide and seek between the buildings as it rose slowly over the city.
I love the city early in the morning, before the invasion of the heavy crowds. The buildings glow like ambers reflecting the sun rays and every now and again you can catch the smell of roast coffee wafting from a shopfront.
The Monorail glides silently between the skyscrapers like a snake making its way in the long grass.

Nothing much happened at work, except work. When doing some photocopies, I noticed a sign taped to the door for the first time. It said " CSI Letterhead "....wow !! ...I had to see that ! I opened the cupboard door and ...there was nothing in there much to my disappointment... I reckon it would have been cool ...CSI Las Vegas, CSI Miami, CSI New York and finally CSI Sydney !

Then I left early cause we had our appointment with the FS. We had lunch at the hospital cafeteria, I asked for a beef burgundy with some chips and I got served beef burgundy with some steamed rice instead....go figure !?
When we got to the clinic's office, my wife knocked on the door and spoke with nurse R, I was standing in the doorframe peering inside smiled at the nurse but she didn't return my smile, in fact I felt like a superhero, I felt like the invisible man ! I used to feel like the invisible man with every nurses at the beginning but some of them are starting to acknowledge me and even talk directly to me now but that particular one still ignores me, unless of course she's blind as a bat and deaf as a post.

Eventually we got to see the FS. I've got to admit that he is kind of weird, he looks like a mad professor. I noticed that he wasn't wearing a wedding band, maybe he lost it inside some body...who knows.
He wears glasses as thick as ice cubes that don't seem to help much because when he was writing the referral his face was only a few centimetres off the paper.
He complained that after 20 years in the joint, he still couldn't find stationary with his letterhead on it ! His assistant had to go and fetch some ...actually she cheated cause it was just the hospital's letterhead and he had to write his name above the address with his pen which made the whole thing look a bit amateurish me thinks..

So now we've got some more waiting to do, but at least we'll have done all that we can before we start IVF. I'm trying to be realistic and concentrate on the positive side of things, use that time to get more healthy, maybe even upgrade our computer !

Actually we ended our day at the Mac shop, looking at leasing a new G5 instead of buying it, checking out prices and getting excited at the thought of getting a new computer....we haven't decided as of yet but we'll let you know when it happens...

Bandits

I haven't written much lately because I've been feeling rather tired. You see, I lead a secret life during my spare moments. For example last morning I stepped into my bus and said hello to the driver and he replied :

"Dynamo One-One, many bandits at one o'clock, twenty miles high. Chicks at two o'clock, seventy miles. Burner disengage east, Bugout south. Acknowledge."

And out of my mouth came this response:

"Zulu, One-One copies."

I then went on taking a sit on the bus and as soon as I turned my ipod on I received this message:

"Apex, Dynamo, twelve o'clock, fifteen miles.."

Suddenly a bat-wing symbol appeared directly on my mobile phone in front of me on the threat warning scope, well within lethal range, and I got a bright red MISSILE LAUNCH indication and a fast warning tone through my ipod in my ears.
The passenger sitting next to me yelled out:

"Fighter off the nose ! "

I saw him press the button for the bus to stop at the next section.

" Chaff's out ! Vertical Jinks ! " He then said aloud.

I looked through the bus window just in time to see a missile whiz past me and and explode about two hundred yards off the left, close enough to feel the shock wave against the side of the bus.

Then the bus driver called out:

"Dynamo, many bandits twelve o'clock high, twelve miles, line abreast, continue burner east, junk'em and hunker down."

Followed by a new voice.

"Can I see your ticket, please sir ?"

I suddenly snapped out of my book and looked up to see a transport official waiting for me to show him my bus pass . Some of you will be glad to see that I am not totally nuts and for those who still wonders, Yes I do take my medications !

When I was a kid, reading wasn't one of my favourite past times. I just found it boring I guess, on the other hand I loved comic strips, from "Tintin" and "Asterix & Obelix" to the" Marvel comics" and magazines such as "Heavy Metal" where the artists "Moebius", "Corben" and "Druillet" could be found.

Then in my teens, I started reading a bit more, notably a novel by a french author "Patrick Cauvin" called "E=MC2 mon amour", a love story between two gifted 11 years old really showed me how words could make one laugh and cry.

I then went on reading about true life stories relating to world war II, life and death in the Polish ghettos and I found my first saucy yet very tame erotic reading experience in "JAWS" by Peter Benchley.

By my late teens I was a fan of Sci-Fi and enjoyed books by Philip. K. Dick, Lovencraft and Ray Bradbury, I also enjoyed reading philosophy works by Nietzsche. My favourite poet was and still is Arthur Rimbaud.

Then when I came to Australia, I stopped reading because I just didn't have a good enough knowledge of english to get stuck into a novel. A few years went by and one day I picked a cheap novel by an unknown author and thought I'd try to read it in the bus and there's been no stopping me from that day onwards.

Nowadays I tend to read "light" novels, my favourite author is "Nelson De Mille", I find his novels have a good blend of suspense, action and love and mostly a great sense of humour. I've read every single one of his books and loved them all. I like buying cheap paperbacks, usually their authors might not be as well known as "Tom Clancy". "Clive Cussler" or "John Grisham" but it doesn't mean they are bad writers. I just look at the cover art, flick through the pages, and read the short review on the back cover and well sometimes it's a dud and other times I'm very happily surprised.

Right now I'm reading a novel by "Dale Brown" called "Chains of Command", it's about Jet fighers. I rescued this book from being thrown out into the garbage. I don't know much about fighter pilots and it's usually not something that I would have read about, but I have found it difficult to put this book down in the last two weeks since I started it.

Here let me read to you what "Clive Cussler" author of "Sahara" had to say about "Dale Brown".

"...Her hands wrapped around his back, and they kissed. The kiss quickly intensified as both tasted, explored, and sought even more. Her hips briefly moved against him, an unbidden but insistent invitation..."

Oooops ! Sorry wrong page ! ... Let me start again. : P

" Dale Brown is the best military adventure writer in the country today, a master at creating a sweeping epic and making it seem real."

Anyway I've just about finished this 603 pages book and I've got another two books waiting for me...not including the fact I'm on vacuum duty today so I'd better go !

Art, the way it is...

Well, last saturday night my wife, one her friend, and myself went out to the city together. Actually our friend's girl friend was exhibiting her work in a local art gallery so we went there to check it out.

There were other women artists there and it was nice to see something a bit different. Some of the works were very abstract but had a lot of meanings attached to them.

Firstly it was a series of paintings with a black background and some very simple curvy white lines, it was meant to be a series of work invoquing pregnancy..( with our luck it couldn't have been about anything else obviously ! ), very stylish, personally all I could see were white lines over a black background, having said that, it would look real good in a shrink's waiting room.

In the second room we were presented with a series of etchings. Not the kind of etchings I'd invite a date back at my place to check out, that's for sure ! This was more like the left overs of erotic etchings. They were sickly looking pictures of undergarments, knickers and what looked like long johns to me, glorified in pissy yellows with doubtful browns.

In the third room, things started to brighten up. They were works done with coloured ink on paper, looked really funky. I reckon these would look good to complement a modern setting such as those seen in "Vogue" magazine.

Finally our friend's friend works were displayed in the last room. On one side of the wall there was a series of colour photographs, close ups of strawberries, carrots, apricots and fish nets. and in the middle some photos printed on chiffon hanging from the ceiling, they were four "sails" one with a pic of barbwire and the others of statues which had been slightly distorted.

This work was about the holocaust and quite well done, however the whole spiritual experience didn't quite reach me since the artist in question was somewhat showing a bit too much cleavage and I found it to be very distracting.

The pictures of strawberries, carrots and apricots all looked like melons after a while and I must admit that it was really hard to concentrate on anything else. ;)

Changes.

A few things have changed in my life recently, I've started a new job last week and decided to give up smoking at the same time so it feels right that I ought to make some changes in my future blog postings.

DI issues started my need for blogging, I needed a place to voice my questions and concerns and I was hopeful that a meaningful dialogue could take place between people who shared different views. In hindsight, I was perhaps asking for too much too soon.

I've therefore decided to turn the page and start a new chapter. My blog will no longer be a platform for debating the ethics of DI. My blog will be for me and those who enjoy reading it.

It will be about a little bit of everything that touches my life including DI. It is easy to get obscessed with the issues regarding DI and to start feeling depressed. Sometimes the best way to combat such feelings is to have a good laugh. It's important to keep your sense of humour in the worse of situations so while you will still read about DI on occasions on my blog, I will take on a lighter approach to the subject.

My wife sometimes tells me that I have a weird sense of humour, so I grant you that I may very well offend some of you from time to time which of course is a shame but won't stop me from sleeping at night.

The fact that I might make fun of some serious issues will not be out of disrespect but because it helps me deal with them and since this blog is mine, I do not feel a need to apologise . There are other blogs out there who will keep on having a far more serious approach and doing a pretty good job of it, feel free to visit them.

In the future if I need to share deeper thought about DI, I will do so with people who understand my feelings and who do not judge me. Such a group of people can be found on the di_dads Yahoo group.

I have also decided to stop moderating my comments, this will give you the satisfaction of reading your own comment just after having posted it !
One word of warning though is that any hateful or otherwise aggressive comment will be deleted.

First impressions

Yesterday I started a new job in a corporate environment. I felt pretty confident in my perfectly well ironed shirt however that came to a halt at about 10h30 in the morning. Earlier on I'd been given a tour of the place and shown where the bathroom was. To get there you have to go through this heavy fire door and to come back to the office you need to swipe your pass in order to open it.

Anyway around 10h30 on that first day, I had to go to the bathroom so I walked past all my new colleagues desk showing off my newly ironed shirt ( it's quite a big place ) and entered the small corridor that led to the security door.

I turned the handle and pushed outward but the door didn't open. I tried a second time harder but it wouldn't budge, after the 5th time, I started to think that maybe I had to swipe my card coming from the inside as well.

I started to look around me but found nothing unusual except for this white switch on the wall and I thought that it must be it. That must be the switch for the door, it's the only explanation ! So I flicked the switch and....and.....wait for it.......


.........the whole office got plunged into darkness ! doh !



I finally worked out that you had to pull the door towards you first before pushing it out but let me tell you that when I came out of the bathroom I just tried to blend in with the environment and I wished that my shirt had a camo pattern on it.

It's quite amazing because I recall another story which involved a bathroom door, it was in one of my first jobs here in Australia.

The guys I worked with were real pranksters and when someone went to the bathroom they often turned the light switch off. Since there was no windows, the room would become pitch black and you couldn't even see your hand in front of your face.


Being the new guy at the time, they played that trick on me, it didn't really bother me because I was just about to step out of the cubicle when they switched the light off however when I went to push the door it wouldn't open.

I tried again and nothing happened, well it moved but there was some resistance, I thought that maybe my colleagues had stuck a chair under the door handle which would have explained why it wouldn't open. I dreaded the thought of having to call for help, I mean those guys would have made fun of me forever so instead I kicked the door, I heard a big bang and it opened. I walked up to the light switch and turn it on. Well.....I'd kicked the door right out of its hinges...and furthermore there was no chair on the otherside...I realised later that the door opened inward not outward !!!!

No one has ever found out who broke the door of that cubicle.....:P

Iron Zen

I volunteered to iron my work shirts the other night since my wife was doing the cooking. Ironing is a strange thing don't you think ? I mean who decided that suddenly after centuries of living in crumpled clothes we needed to iron them ?!
In the prehistoric era no one cared if your mammoth fur coat was slightly crumpled when you went out hunting !
So who is the idiot who invented such a need ? Looks like we can blame the chinese for that one, since they invented Iron casting. Then in 1882 a NY inventor by the name of Henry W. Seeley came up with the first electric iron. His iron weighed almost 15 pounds and took a long time to warm up. Now it weighs much less but it still takes people a long time to warm up to the idea of spending the evening ironing.

Now let's come back to this first guy, his idea was really stupid but he sure is a genius at marketing. I mean how do you go about selling a product that everybody hates, takes a lot of your time and is not user friendly ? Ever since then we keep on ironing and whining while doing it.

Technically speaking since 1882 it hasn't improved a great deal, irons look more like streamlined speedboats nowadays although I don't know that it makes the task of ironing go any faster ! It's time to come up with something new...I present the " i iron ". Works easy, take one crumpled shirt put it inside your i iron and 2 minutes later it comes out automatically ironed. I think we'd sell a lot more of those than ipods !

I must admit that after a while, I got used to the gentle glide of the iron on the fabric of my shirts and I felt at peace within. Maybe I could try to market a new relaxing technique focusing on the whole ironing spiritual experience.

For the dedicated iron lovers out there I found this link that shows you how to toast your cheese sandwich with an iron.

http://www.southphillyblocks.org/photos_essays/grilled_cheese/

Pest control

Open Publishing - Aggressive and Disruptive Behaviour: Flaming, Trolling and Hate-Speech

Definitions and Introduction

"Open publishing forums often encounter the problem of aggressive and disruptive behaviour of users. The most common of these problems are flaming, trolling and hate-speech.

Flaming is the act of posting a comment or article in an open publishing forum that is intended to be hostile and insulting. The person who participates in flaming is termed a flamer. Each hostile comment or article is described as a flame (Wikipedia, 2005a). Flamebaiting is the act of posting a comment or article in an open publishing forum that is likely to start flaming or a flamewar; a series of flaming messages. Flamebaiting is not directly hostile or insulting; rather it is a passive-aggressive method in order to start flaming. The person who participates in flamebaiting is referred to as a baiter (Wikipedia, 2005b).

Trolling is the act of posting a comment or article in an open publishing forum that is intended to provoke and disrupt the discussion of users by producing a large volume of frivolous responses (Bond, 1999). The content of such a post may consist of a foolish contradiction of common knowledge, a deliberately offensive insult to the readers or a broad request for trivial follow-up postings (Bond, 1999). The person who participates in trolling is termed a troll.

Hate-speech is the act of publishing comments and articles that contain racist, sexist, homophobic, libellous content or the use of language that encourages hate or violence. Open publishing sites such as Indymedia frequently encounter such hate-filled posts. Open publishing seeks to provide equal access for everyone to have a space for the sharing of dialogue and information (Langlois, 2004, p.67). However, as open publishing networks have expanded globally organisations, such as Indymedia, have found that articles and comments promoting inequality, homophobia, sexism, racism, anti-Semitism and other forms of discrimination, as well as disrespect for the principles behind open publishing itself, have become a significant problem (Langlois, 2004, p.67)."

Source.



Pest control.

By Edmund Tadros
August 28, 2004
Icon

"A few years ago, a man turned up at a regular meeting of American feminists. Before he joined in, however, he told the group they would eventually throw him out because, in his words, all feminists were "bigots and liars".

He then proceeded to undermine many of the group's discussions, using a combination of disingenuous comments, intentionally outrageous claims and, eventually, direct insults.

Despite this, he was not immediately ejected. Instead, group members argued with him, argued about arguing with him, argued that everyone should just ignore him, until the meeting organiser took matters into her own hands and kicked him out.

This drama didn't play out in a real-world meeting place but on an internet-based discussion board. These electronic discussions, which cover almost any imaginable interest, allow like-minded people from around the world to post messages.

And the man, who probably would never have behaved this way in real life, is a classic example of an internet troll - a cyber prankster whose sometimes playful, sometimes abusive, mostly puerile and occasionally useful behaviour can tear an online community apart or leave it more bonded than ever.

Trolls take pleasure in disrupting online discussions by posting controversial messages, explains Susan Herring, a professor of information science at Indiana University in the United States, who wrote a paper about the troll attack on the feminist discussion board.

"The group was infiltrated by a couple of different men. One person [who they referred to as Kent] came on the group and announced from the outset that he was going to get kicked off the group. He said that feminists were intolerant," says Herring.

"He said he wanted to discuss the issues but all he really wanted to do was disrupt the group. He actually manipulated the ideologies of feminism, which is open and tolerant, and if people in the group tried to shut him up overtly they would prove they were intolerant. He won either way."

Kent's posts to the feminist discussion group, which had about 200 active participants, were provocative enough that someone would inevitably take the bait. In one post, Kent the troll, oozing false sincerity, wrote: "Incidentally, I take the silence over the gender wage gap hoax to mean that no feminist here even wants to TRY to defend their biggest lie: that men are paid more for the same work than women are."

Fighting with Kent was difficult because he was never specifically offensive, just subversive. In another message, he challenged the group: "In summary, what exactly is offensive about my posts? If you can tell me I will either stop doing it or leave the board. If, however, you refuse to tell me, and I've not been shy about asking SPECIFICALLY what standards I'm supposed to live by, then I will carry on doing it, of course."

Then, when people tried to ignore him, he would write: "Every poster here has told me that I'm wrong and they are right about feminism. Do you see that? I at least offer proof. I want to discuss, not just drop a slogan and ride out throwing dismissive insults."

The result was chaos, Herring says.

"They didn't know about trolling and I think that would have helped them act more actively. Half the people said ignore him because they figured out he was getting off on the attention. But there were always newcomers or someone else who would take the bait.

"There was another group that said we should just ban him. Then they had the whole discussion about banning him. Finally, the webmistress took matters into her own hands and did ban him. In the process they devised guidelines on how to deal with disruptive people."

Kent the troll focused his energy on upsetting feminists but other trolls are happy to upset a wider range of people.....

.......

So why do it? Why purposely find people who have a common interest and upset them? Like bullies, trolls feel alienated and want attention, says Rebekka Sommer, from the health psychology unit at the University of Technology, Sydney.

"If you're a troll, you're feeling fairly disconnected. Because you're not feeling OK, you go into a discussion group where people are sharing vulnerabilities or passions but you're not experiencing any sense of belonging, so you trivialise that sense of belonging and you feel better about yourself. It is a kind of power trip. It comes down to self-esteem."

Herring says trolling is the cyber version of schoolyard or workplace bullying. "The analogue for trolling is bullying at school but rather than overt bullying, the far more insidious type of bullying. The victim gets a sense that something is going on but you can never confront anyone. I think it's driven by the same thing, which is jealousy." The impersonal nature of the internet also gives rise to this anti-social behaviour.

"There is less accountability online because trolls don't know what you look like and in some ways they can disassociate from the effect they're having on people. It's almost dehumanising," Sommer says.

"I can say something nasty because I don't have to look you in the face. If I don't have to look at you it's easier for me to be hurtful and it still serves my purpose which is to make what you're doing look silly and make me feel better about myself.".....

...Trolls are most common on open internet discussion boards but have also invaded closed online communities.....

....Trolls become a nuisance when they descend into direct abuse, he says. "They're just being outright stupid, it's not even entertaining. It's abusive language for the sake of abusive language."...

As for dealing with trolls, that's simple: ignore them, says Jones. "Ignore it and delete it without any further comment if you can. The worst thing you can do is give them the attention that they are seeking. It's a kind of social terrorism - if you really appease them and give them what they want, they'll terrorise you."

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/08/27/1093518082647.html

Content posted of an agressive or disruptive nature by serial offenders will be removed without prejudice irrespective to what faction you belong to, and repeated offences may attract a Zero Tolerance response from this blog.

Liam Markus. part 2

Thank you Liam for commenting on my blog and setting the record straight. I'd like to ask you however if you believe that you are an exception to the rule or if you know of other donor offsprings who share your point of view ?

I've also wondered if DC girls were more likely to have "identity problems" rather than DC boys and interestingly enough I found an article on the net this afternoon that makes a reference to it for which you will find an exerpt bellow.

The article was written by
Dr. Vivienne Adair
Director, Centre for Child and family Policy Research
Senior Lecturer, School of Education

"Identities are forged by a combination of the past, present and the future and it is here that parents of children who have a conception using donor gametes have a special set of variables to contend with. As knowing oneself depends to some extent on knowing where one comes from, there may be different stresses and tasks to accomplish. It is always tempting to look to adoption as a comparison, but the situation has important differences. With assisted reproductive technology (ART) there is no ‘giving away’ of a child and donors have been encouraged to view gametes as ‘body parts’ by the donors, rather than as a prospective living child. The second difference is that semen and/or eggs have been produced specifically for recipient parents.

However, there are similarities for the child especially in the middle and late teenage years. The similarities are around the need for information about genetic background. For those teenagers who have a knowledge of the involvement of a donor in their conception, the interest in who they are seems to begin from about 13 years of age. Some want information about the donor at this stage and some want to meet him whether or not that is possible. There is not enough information to make definitive statements about this, but it appears that boys may be less likely to want to meet a donor than girls and that older more than younger teenagers want information. As well, it appears that acceptance of having no information or possible contact is dealt with differently. It would take an indepth study to determine which characteristics lead to acceptance and which do not, and at this point no such study has been undertaken."

http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/afrc6papers/adair.html

Consequences of naming known donor on Birth Certificate in Australia

Naming a donor on the Birth Certificate does not make him legally a ‘parent’ under family law. However, it does have other consequences.

Both ‘parents’ are expected to sign a birth registration form. If you decide to name the donor on the child’s Birth Certificate, he must sign the registration form.

If you decide not to name the donor, you may have to give the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages a Statutory Declaration either saying that the father is unknown or explaining the circumstances.

The Registrar has been known to refuse to issue a Birth Certificate if you say that you have used a known donor, but not through a clinic, and you do not wish to give the donor’s name. If you have conceived through a donor program run by a clinic, you can give the Registrar a letter from the clinic to prove that there is no legal father.

Paternity for inheritance purposes

Naming a known donor on the Birth Certificate automatically establishes kinship.This gives the child inheritance rights if the donor dies. (The same outcome can be achieved if the donor names the child as beneficiary in his Will.)

Social security

Centrelink policy is that the biological mother is not eligible for social security unless she first tries to get child support from the father named on the Birth Certificate, even though the law is clear that a donor is not liable for child support.

If Centrelink insist on this, even after you tell them it was self-insemination, you can appeal to an authorised review officer and then the Social Security Appeals Tribunal.

Passport

A father registered on the Birth Certificate is required to give his consent (by signing the application) before the child can get a passport.

Responsibility for child support

Two court cases (NSW Supreme Court in 1995 and Family Court in 1996) have decided that if a man isn’t the married or de facto husband of the biological mother of a child conceived by artificial insemination, then he is not the child’s ‘parent’ under the Child Support (Assessment) Act 1989 (Cth) – even if he is named on the Birth Certificate. Therefore he can’t be ordered to pay child support by the Child Support Agency.

This view was confirmed by the Family Court in a 2002 case.

Parenting Orders

There are four types of parenting order:

• Residence order – who the child will live with.

• Contact order – what contact the child will have with a parent or other significant person.

• Specific issues order – any other aspect of day-to-day or long-term parental responsibility, e.g. religion, medical treatment, education, extra-curricular activities.

• Maintenance order – not often used as most children are now covered by the Child Support Scheme instead, but can be used for children over 18 who still need financial support.

An application can be made by anyone who is ‘concerned with the care, welfare and development of the child’. This includes a non-biological parent and a known sperm donor.

http://over-the-rainbow.org/main/topic9_6.htm#9_6_4_0

Going Dental

My dentist is south african. He is a great guy plus every visit is painfree. (note here that I said PAINfree...not just free! )

His surgery is quite groovy for a dental clinic. Lots of nice bright colours like yellow and purple and some cute cartoons on the walls to lure the little ones into a sense of safety.

For the adults, there are lots of educational magazines to choose from. I mean where else would I learn about Scuba Diving in the Carribeans, Racing a Yacht around the world or having a romantic dinner in Monaco.

I'm a regular client, It's a shame they don't have one of those special deals, so that for every 5th treatment you have done you get the next one free.

My dentist is really gentle when it comes to injecting the aneasthetic into my gum, by far the best dentist and I've seen many, believe me. Sometimes I wonder whether a stronger aneasthetic should be used once again just before you are about to pay.

Last year I spend $A 1500.00 on one tooth ! My dentist had to refer me to see a specialist for a root canal therapy treatment on one of my back mollars. Think about what you can buy with that kind of money...maybe a new flat screen TV ?...a computer ?...a weekend away ?...The most disappointing thing about spending that kind of money on a tooth is that showing it off to your friends just doesn't quite have the same effect as when you bought yourself $A 1500.00 worth of clothes or jewellry.

It all started with pain and swelling in my face, it was late at night and I was getting kind of worried, my wife rang the emergency department of a close by hospital and in turn they gave us the emergency dentist phone number to ring. This dentist whom I didn't know, wanted to charge me just $A 100.00 for opening his door but wouldn't give me any information as to what he would do afterwards if anything. I think that before I give someone some money upfront and that person is going to be possibly working on my body, it gives me the right to be given some information as to what is going to happen. However my dental emergency phone call ended abruptly when he said " Look, I'm tired, I've had a long day and I don't have time for this kind of thing !" and then he hang up.
As an afterthought, it's probably best that I didn't go and have treatment with him since he was agitated and agro over the phone, he probably would have butchered me.

Anyway, that story took place last year however, yesterday my dentist started work on a new root canal ! ...wanna have a look ?

Biological malfunction

Last Sunday my wife and I attended our great nephew's first birthday.
He's a cute little boy with big dreamy eyes.

For the occasion the whole family got together. His grandfather had rented one of those inflatable jumping castle, they were kids of all ages running around smiling and laughing. My niece and her friends had organised lots of games to keep the little ones happy. A real feast had been organised to cater for both adults and children.

Well it was one hell of a 1st birthday, that's for sure !

However there was something missing or I should say someone. Someone really important. Someone that this little man ought to be looking up to.
I think you guessed it ...his dad wasn't there !

The all mighty biological father of this child wasn't part of the festivities !

So where was he ? well he was on his way apparently, he wasn't coming from too far away, maybe 45 mns/1 hour drive. ....the party started at around 11h00 am, all the guest waited for him, by 2h30 pm it was decided to have lunch served since no one really knew when or if he'd show up.

Finally just before the cake was served around 4 pm, the father of the child arrived with his usual entourage of deadbeats !

What's the first thing he did ? go to the buffet with his friends and help themselves to some food.
Then he sat away from the crowd eating and drinking, he didn't even get up from his chair when my great nephew with the help of his mother cut the first slice of the cake.

My wife asked him how he was and his answer was " I think i'm pissed ".

When my niece first found out that she was pregnant, he disappeared for the first few months....

He seems to care a lot more about his appearance, with the latest trendy rapper looks, jewelry and all, just so that he can look like a really poor kid from the bronx, than he does about my niece and his child.

He's got no social skills whatsoever, last time my niece and him visited some family, he stayed in the car for the whole time not even bothering to come out to say hello.

The guy can't even eat spaghettis with a fork as my parents in law told us. He was invited there for lunch one day and well he really struggled with the fork concept so he ended up eating with his fingers.

All that, I am willing to forgive to an extent but turning up late and pissed for your child's first birthday is totally unforgivable ! All I can hope for my niece is that she eventually kicks him out and find someone else that will care for this kid.

So if creating a kid via DI with intent to give them love is more of a crime than being biologically linked to a child that you do not care about then I am guilty as charged.


Take some time to ponder those last two statistics while you're here.


1 - Over half of the 6.4 million pregnancies in the US in 1988 were unintended (56%). As many of those pregnancies ended in abortion (44%) as in birth (43%).

2 - In 1996, over half a million young women under age 20 gave birth, and two-thirds of those were unintended.



1 - Forrest JD. Epidemiology of unintended pregnancy and contraceptive use. American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology. 1994;170:1485-1489.

2 - Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. State-specific birth rates for teenagers-United States, 1990-1996. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. 1997;46:837-842.