All we need is love
One thing that never ceases to amaze me in those debate about DI is the way the anti factions approach the subject.
On one hand they preach about love and respect for the unborn child on the other they treat people who differ in opinion with contempt.
They point out that DC children are given no choice in the matter and that is what is causing them so much hurt.Yet they rejoice in knowing that a new law will make possible for a DC child to find out their origins via a letter from their donor as they reach 18. This has the potential to cause great distress, yet the anti lobby is celebrating.
Who's choice is that? Not the child's that's for sure !
They pretend to know it all, to have the answers, however they are no gods, just mere mortals and whether or not they realise it, they have become one with their own nemesis.
Don't preach love if all you have in your heart is hate.
On one hand they preach about love and respect for the unborn child on the other they treat people who differ in opinion with contempt.
They point out that DC children are given no choice in the matter and that is what is causing them so much hurt.Yet they rejoice in knowing that a new law will make possible for a DC child to find out their origins via a letter from their donor as they reach 18. This has the potential to cause great distress, yet the anti lobby is celebrating.
Who's choice is that? Not the child's that's for sure !
They pretend to know it all, to have the answers, however they are no gods, just mere mortals and whether or not they realise it, they have become one with their own nemesis.
Don't preach love if all you have in your heart is hate.
posted by MAX at 9:20 AM
3 Comments:
It's better that people know the truth about their identity, whether they find out via a letter or not!!
Then it is their choice as to what to do with information regarding themselves.
By the way, i don't think anyone claims to have the answers to this whole dilemma. To do so would be foolish. I think some of us just have the interests of those born via such practices in our hearts first and foremost. No matter how much one wants or thinks they have a right to a child, that should not ever override the resulting person's right to a true identity.
Finding out through a letter sent in the mail is quite frankly a very cold way of informing someone of their origins.
It seems to me that it may have been better if the parents and child were to be counselled, after all parents cannot be blamed for not telling their kids since when they did have DC children, it was being advocated by their doctors.
Just because views have changed for the better in regards to DI, we should push for more support for both parent and DC persons rather than do it in such an impersonal way.
Obviously counselling would require time and effort and money where as a letter in the mail is only 50 cents.
All that this law does is instigate fear in couples who haven't told and trauma in children when they find out in such a cheap way without the support they will need.
Isn't it better that people find out via a letter than in the midst of an argument or by the DC person finding papers in their parents stuff? This does happen and trust me i am sure those who find out in such ways would tell you that a letter would have been better.
I do agree that because of past advice parents might be still scared to tell, however in Australia and Victoria at least there have been quite a few media pieces about this issue that are boung to spark with parents. I am sure the secret that they are keeping is eating away at them, so telling really is better for the whole family.
Did you know that adoptees find out such information in a letter sometimes as well? It has worked well in that area, so why can't it work for DC people also? Most of the time people would rather find out sooner than later and counselling is offered after the letter is revceived. When i found out i had no body to talk to at all. I think that at this point in time the ITA (in Victoria) have thought through the repercussions of this legislation, which mind you is not at all *new*. Parents and donors were counselled that this might ocurr. So to now say it's not on doesn't make any sense.
I believe that counselling is in fact free for quite a number of sessions, for those people who do receive a request for contact. It's really being handled in the best interests of the ADULT DC person, and this i am happy about.
I think you really ought to look at the ITA's website and become a little bit more educated about what is going on around this legislation coming into affect. Support is definately going to be available!! And as i said earlier, where was the support when i and others needed it years ago? If we could have gotten through it (as well as probably hundreds of thousands of adoptees and displaced people), then so will this new lot.
I think they are in fact lucky to have such amazing support and people who can help them. And knowing the truth about yourself, at the end of the day is a very liberating and important thing. Living a lie helps nobody.
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