Till death do us part.

The other day I came home from work and found my wife home early. With tears in her eyes she said "it's not fair, what did we do to deserve this ?". It was just one of those days when emotions take over.For a lot of people, having a baby is sometimes almost taken for granted because it is such a natural part of life and yet others like us have to suffer for unknown reasons.
I feel sometimes angry at myself for bringing so much pain to her since we have been married.
You see we had a wonderful wedding, but shortly after, as I was riding my motorbike home, I got T-boned by a car who failed to give way.

I can't begin imagining what it must have been like for her to get a phone call from the police letting her know that her husband had been taken by ambulance to the hospital.
I remember seeing her in shock in the emergency room as doctors where frantically wiring my body to a number of machines. "It's Ok, I'm alright " I said, but I must have looked anything but alright with a neck brace on, a badly bruised shoulder, a broken wrist and an ankle which was so swollen it was almost the size of my thigh.

I spent almost 2 weeks in hospital and then a further 10 days in a rehab centre. During that time, I was totally dependant on the nursing staff, due to the nature of my injuries, I wasn't allowed to either put my right foot down or using my left wrist. I couldn't walk or wash myself and I even relied on someone to help me eat.

I can imagine the stress she was going through at the time, coping with work and not knowing if, when or how I was going to recover, but everyday she found the strength and took time to visit me. She was my daily dose of sunshine.

I eventually came out in a wheelchair and started rehab on both wrist and ankle, I averaged 5 physio sessions in as many days ...anyway those last two years have been punctuated with doctor's visits and numerous physio sessions some so painful, I was in tears by the end of it. My left wrist was shattered in 9 places. and required two surgeries...one to put 13 screws,3 wires and 2 Tplates to hold it together and 6 months later all the hardware had to be removed as my tendons were starting to rub against the plates. I suffered a crush fracture on my right ankle which required surgery also for a busted tendon. and finally I had surgery on my right shoulder as well.
Now I'm not telling you all this so that you can feel sorry for me, there are some people who have had much worse injuries than mine, it's just to give you an idea of what we've been through since our wedding.

And so it was in August last year, we were at my GP, she was explaining to me that some of my injuries will always remain, notably my ankle because it took the brunt of it all, and then in the same breath she told me that my test results had come back and that I had nil sperm in my ejaculate. It felt like as if the GP had just put the last nail in my coffin.

Also for the last 8 years my mother in Law who is a wonderful lady has been battling cancer and it has just been so hard for my wife emotionally those last two years that I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make all her worries go away. It's in times like these that I feel so powerless and at times guilty but I know that I have to remain strong, strong enough for the both of us.

I. DD, Love and cherish you. V, for being all that you are, and all that you can be. Know that I am here for you and that all your joys and pain will be mine. I ask for your love, your trust, your caring. I choose you to be my wife till death do us part.