Diaries of a hopeful dad to be.

A new blog

2007-01-14T18:04:00.000+11:00

I am not closing off this blog, I just felt like having a blog that doesn't necessarily deal with infertility...

http://moondancemax.blogspot.com/

Worth1000 part 2

2007-01-13T23:40:00.000+11:00

While the following pics did not finish in the first three, they all received a "star" (Jury's pick).
I have many more but these are some of my favourites .

Big bug mess
Sucked in

Classic rock

Alien Management

Worth1000

2007-01-13T23:15:00.000+11:00

By popular demand (one anyway..) I shall post my winning "worth1000" entries.

One gold cup in the advanced photoshop category for the following competition :

"Remember when computer hackers were the big scare? Sure they might be 15-year-olds computer nerds who t41k 2 mUc4 l1k3 7h15!!!!!!!!!!!!11 [talk too much like this]. But that doesn't mean that, with a few deft keystrokes, they couldn't take over the world. And what would everyday life be like then? Get ready for some l337 h4xx0r1ng!!!!!!111 [elite hacker language].

The rules of this game are thus: In this contest you will show us images from a world run by l337 hax0rs. Your images should ideally focus on something that already has text on it. (i.e. a shampoo bottle with instructions written in html or the Coca-Cola logo written in poorly spelled gibberish)."
One bronze medal in the beginner category for the following competition:

"Global warming. Everyone's talking about it. Everyone's speculating about it. We can go one step further: Let's show what the world might look like after global warming has descended upon us.

Will we be inundated with floods? Or will the world dry up? Will skiers coat their skis with teflon so that they can ski snow-free mountains? Will sunbathers have to coat their skin with plaster of paris? You show us.

The rules are thus: Depict a future scene that's the result of global warming. Don't be afraid to get a little silly or outrageous. That's what we do!"

Rose coloured glasses.

2006-11-19T08:52:00.000+11:00

In the debate of fatherhood in the context of DI, I find that too much credit is being given to biological parents. On an abstract level, yes its best for a child to be biologically related to his father, but in reality being biologically related to one or both parent is not synonym of harmony. The human mind works in such way that the grass will always seem greener on the other side of the fence, hence why some people who were conceived via DI will think that their life would have significantly been better were they biologically related to their father.
The true father image is of a man sharing, teaching, guiding,loving, protecting his children, how often do you hear adult say things such as...when I was young my father used to take me fishing, or my love for cars was passed on by my father etc....
Sounds great doesn't it ? However in reality this is not always true...I think the great father image is a bit of an urban myth.
Let's take my relationship with my father as an example.

1/ We do not look like one another at all. In fact if one had to decide whether we are related just on looks, the conclusion would be that I am either adopted or I was also donor conceived.

2/ As a young kid growing up my father was rarely home, the way my father thinks is business comes first, friends second and family last . My father was the law and the executioner and being backhanded slapped across the face due to low school grades or asked to finish one's meal in the toilet for putting our elbows on the table was common practice. We had a love/fear relationship one could say.

3/ My father keeps secrets. I was never invited to the lush ceremony of his second wedding that took place only a few klms from my place of residence. He invited all his friends and colleagues but not his son, his only biological link here in Australia, my brother resides in France.
Not only was I not invited but he only told me sheepishly two weeks later.

4/ My father has a fixation with money. I have never asked him for any financial assistance in my entire life nor do I intend to. My father never seems to be giving me the impression that he is doing something because he enjoys it....everything he does seems to be a necessity or because his wife needs this , everything is a sacrifice. My father will mention to me on several occasions how he is struggling financially and then two weeks later I will find out that he spent a week at Club Med in some exotic location....and later again he will spend a good 5 minutes justifying his trip like as if he didn't really want to go there but had to !

5/ In my Father's house you will not find a picture of either my brother or I displayed anywhere. On the other hand you will find plenty of pictures of himself and his two dogs, a couple of beagles which I humourously call my "sisters".

I spent the first 30 years of my life hoping for a better dad, hoping that perhaps he would change, I was ridden with guilt in the sense that I felt that I was never good enough for him and then one day I realised that I needed to move on in order to live my life and that 's exactly what I am doing. Yes my father might be biologically related to me but our relationship is nothing but 100% artificial.

I think that sometimes we need to take off those rose coloured glasses and have a good look around us. It's easy to make conclusions based on supposedly scientifical evidence but if you take results of research at face value then you are only kidding yourself, life is neither black or white.

Crikey ! I'm rooted !

2006-08-20T19:04:00.000+10:00

I was reading Meg's blog recently when my mind had to do a double take on the following comments.

I'm rooting for little F...
My mum is rooting for you..

I mentionned it to Vee who said that apparently Eric left a similar comment on her blog once, I vaguely remember seeing it but I thought that he was joking..

Vee tells me that it has a different meaning in the american language ....yeah I bet ! ...

root vi. 1. To cheer for a sports team. Root is an offensive Australian slang verb meaning ``have sexual intercourse with''. Announcing to an Australian that you ``are a cheerleader, so you don't see many football games because you are in the stands rooting'' will give a misleading impression about your devotion to the team.

# root – to have sex. Also a noun, as in "I'm dyin' for a root". This can inadvertently cause embarrassment for Americans visiting Australia, if they declare that they "root" for a particular sports team.
# rooted – broken or tired.

Odd

2006-08-19T18:43:00.000+10:00

This week the following email arrived in my inbox at work.

"Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation

Hello everyone,

I'm organising a donut drive to raise funds for JDRF and have attached a colour brochure. I will put brochures and posters in the lifts within the building with my contact details for placing orders. Also will have brochures and ordering sheets placed around the building....
... The donuts are as nice if not better than Krispy Kremes, I'm certain everyone will enjoy them.

It's not until you start speaking to people that we find out, at least one person within our families, friends etc have to face day to day life with Diabetes.

A big thankyou to everyone for supporting this worthwhile charity and I look forward to bringing lots of donuts into the building.

Kind regards,

xxxxxxxxxx "

I don't know about you but I found this money raising promotion somewhat odd. My understanding of Diabetes is that you are more at risk if you stuff your face with fatty sugary foods such as donuts !!!!

In the same line of thought, we could:

Sell cigarettes to raise money for lung cancer ?
Sell alcohol to raise awareness about the dangers of drink driving ?
Sell guns in order to raise money so that more peaceful protest can take place ?

Full Moon

2006-08-10T20:19:00.001+10:00

I'm afraid I didn't have as much of a successful week as the last one in regards to my weight loss but I still managed to loose 200g ..I have to admit that I went on a bit of a food rampage last Sunday, it was a family celebration with lots of great food in the form of a free for all buffet.

I was planning on being relatively good but one thing led to another and before I knew it I'd had seconds and was considering going for my third "Portuguese tart" ( type of small custard filled tart ) just to break the taste of the low fat plum cake Vee had made....

Women can usually blame their hormones when they have a bad week however for us males it is somewhat more difficult, nonetheless I shall blame the full moon for my sudden feeding frenzy.
When the full moon arrives, I grow some hair and become an overweight infertile werewolf who goes sugar crazy. My senses sharpen greatly to the point where I can hear someone taking a lolly out of its wrapping paper over a 100 metre radius !

One thing I don't really like at weight watchers are the meetings. Honestly I don't care what anyone else says but a carrot will never (NEVER) replace a chocolate bar !

They try too hard to convince me that we can replace some yummy naughty foods with healthy snacks such as raw veggies....I'd rather that they promote the goodness of veggies rather than making them sound like second best.
I love veggies and I'm happy to munch on a carrot or have a salad but it will never be replacement for anything else. Actually I made a stir fry for dinner and since I was hungry, I munched on some raw cabbage while cooking and it was quite alright, I just hope raw cabbage is not one of those primary methane producing food...

Irreverent or Irrelevant?: The United Nations and Gay Rights - Opinion

2006-08-06T10:29:00.000+10:00

I found this very interesting essay on the dynamics of political and cultural issues surrounding gay rights and the United Nations written by Sami Zeidan a lebanese diplomat at the UN.

"...in drafting human rights instruments, it is common to avoid controversial language if it is not previously agreed upon. Sexual orientation is an excellent example of such language. For example, the draft final statement of the 1993 Vienna Conference on human rights had a paragraph on equality that condemned discrimination on listed grounds. When Canada proposed adding "sexual orientation" to the list, a heated debate ensued, resulting in a general, open-ended prohibition of discrimination, without a list. The advantage of this course of action is that consensus is achieved. However, upon implementation of such a general paragraph, several interpretations inevitably arise on the question of whether sexual orientation is implicitly included as a right protected from discrimination..."

Irreverent or Irrelevant?: The United Nations and Gay Rights - Opinion

Drivers of the storm

2006-08-04T20:34:00.000+10:00

something weird happened to me tonight. I'd just stepped off the bus, it was dark and pissing down rain, as I was walking home, I felt a car pull beside me. I looked and saw that the car was occupied by two women, on the front seat I recognised one of them as being a passenger on the bus I'd just got off from, another, more mature woman, was driving, she'd pulled her window down and asked me if I wanted a lift. As I didn't have much further to walk to get home, I politely declined.

Now had something like this happened 25 years ago I wouldn't think twice about it but the world being what it is today, I am somewhat surprised that two women would be willing to give a lift to a man that they have never met, on a dark stormy night..

Those women may have been a couple of lonely nymphomaniacs on the prowl said my other half teasing...to which I replied ....Damn! I missed an opportunity !

Supermarket madness

2006-07-30T17:32:00.000+10:00

Today as we were doing the shopping, I came across one of those WTF items...."freshly" sliced pieces of apples in small packs presented in their own snack size sealed plastic bag....for those people who buy pre-sliced apple may I suggest a new product : How about some pre-digested apples, not only can you do away with the slicing but you also don't have to chew them !

Weight watching

2006-07-26T20:46:00.000+10:00

I'm somewhat disappointed, last Sunday I refused my mother in law's home made cookies...then during the week, at work, some colleagues were having a bit of a celebration and I was invited to help myself to some "Krispy cream " donuts, I declined politely and finally someone gave us a thank you gift consisting of a box of Cointreau chocolates at the end of this week which still remains unopened....tonight was my first weigh in from weight watchers and after a week of struggling on a meagre diet I haven't lost anything since my last visit !
Maybe I didn't eat enough.....better luck next week I hope.

Don't be a wanker campaign.

2006-07-23T12:42:00.000+10:00

Show your support for the Male infertility awareness campaign by displaying the following animated picture in your side bar.

Please just copy and paste the code below, the picture is linked to its own post page. On this page I will display a link to your blog, consider it like an active online blog petition.

The Campaign's aim is two fold, first to bring awareness to Male infertility in general and secondly to promote responsible sperm donations in order to breach the shortage currently experienced in some countries.

Please post a comment here when you're done and I shall add your blog link to the online petition. There are two sizes to choose from.

Replace {} with <> in the code below

{a href="http://dynamodad.blogspot.com/2006/07/
male-infertility-awareness.html"}
{img src="http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/5638/wankersmallxn6.gif"
http://www.dynamodad.blogspot.com/{/a}

{a href="http://dynamodad.blogspot.com/2006/07/
male-infertility-awareness.html"}
{img src="http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/4384/wankersmalleryc5.gif"
http://www.dynamodad.blogspot.com/{/a}

Special thanks to my betterhalf for creating the animated gif.

Male Infertility Awareness

2006-07-23T12:31:00.000+10:00

What all those blogs have in common is to support responsible sperm donation and the need to educate the general public about Male Infertility. If you would like to join this list please find instructions here.
You do not need to have experienced infertility first hand to join this list, it may be that you know of someone who is battling infertility, or that the laws surrounding DI in your country are not only restrictive, out of reach financially or discriminative in some instances or you could even be a donor yourself, as long as you share the following views..

1/A greater need to educate the public about Male infertility and how it also affects the lives of other family members.

2/Dispelling the stigmas attached to Donor Insemination.

3/Promoting and encouraging responsible and informed FREE sperm donations.

http://dynamodad.blogspot.com/
http://sweetvee.blogspot.com/
http://www.journeytothecentre.com/
http://babyquestblog.blogspot.com/
http://infertilefantasies.blogspot.com/
http://di-dad.blogspot.com/
http://babydust.eponym.com/
http://stellaandben.typepad.com/
http://butterflygirl.wordyblog.com/
http://bigpandme.blogspot.com/
http://the-end-of-my-line.blogspot.com/
http://dadsomeday.blogspot.com/
http://julesc095.blogspot.com/
http://gravidazero.blogspot.com/
http://thehardestquest.blogspot.com/
http://willowsway.blogspot.com/

United Notions

2006-07-22T20:57:00.000+10:00

When discussing the right or wrong of ART, some DC people put in forefront the United Nations Convention on the rights of the child. This, I suppose is meant to reinforce their rightfulness but is nothing more than a form of political name dropping correctness in my opinion.

There is a few problems associated with flying any organisation's flag when putting an argument forward. First of all there always will be a diversity of opinions in regards to the interpretation of any written statement. Any written text can be carefully manipulated to suit anyone's beliefs.

My second point is that the United Nations are nobody special. I don't doubt that they have done some good things ( haven't we all ) but they certainly do not represent the world's rightful morality.
I appreciate the fact that some of their collective thoughts start with a good intention however it's one thing to preach about the rights of the people but I'm afraid that they fall short of leading by example.

Next time you brandish the United Nations flag in the name of human consciousness have a thought for the following ..

* Failure to prevent the 1994 Rwandan genocide, which resulted in the killings of nearly a million people, due to the refusal of the security council members to approve any necessary military action [27].

* Failure by MONUC (UNSC Resolution 1291) to effectively intervene during the Second Congo War, which claimed nearly five million people in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), 1998-2002 (with fighting reportedly continuing), and in carrying out and distributing humanitarian aid.

* Failure to intervene in the 1995 Srebrenica massacre, despite the fact that the UN designated Srebrenica a "safe haven" for refugees and assigned 600 Dutch peacekeepers to protect it.

* Failure to successfully deliver food to starving people in Somalia; the food was instead usually seized by local warlords. A U.S./UN attempt to apprehend the warlords seizing these shipments resulted in the 1993 Battle of Mogadishu.

* Sexual abuse by UN peacekeepers. Numerous peacekeepers from several nations have been repatriated from UN peacekeeping operations for sexually abusing and exploiting girls as young as 12 in a number of different peacekeeping missions. This abuse has become widespread and ongoing despite many revelations and probes by the UN Office of Internal Oversight Services. [28][29] A 2005 internal UN investigation found that sexual exploitation and abuse has been reported in at least five countries where UN peacekeepers have been deployed, including the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Haiti, Burundi, Cote d'Ivoire, and Liberia; UN peacekeepers were at that time deployed in 16 countries. [30]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Nations

Please take time to read the following article....

UN peacekeepers abandon Timorese babies.

"UN peacekeepers in East Timor have previously been accused of offences including child sex abuse, bestiality and coercing women and children into prostitution. No one has ever been charged."

http://www.smh.com.au

The return

2006-07-22T19:39:00.000+10:00

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

2006-06-25T14:44:00.000+10:00

Michael,

Thanks for dropping by on my blog and giving me your encouragement to our campaign. I knew that you wouldn't be able to resist sharing a few comments in regards to my "don't be a wanker" campaign. After all there is no one better than you to tell us about wanking especially after answering the following question on national TV on the "SBS Insight program".

"JENNY BROCKIE: Michael Linden, you were donating sperm in the 80’s..

MICHAEL LINDEN, DONOR: 77 actually.

JENNY BROCKIE: 77, did you think about any of this when you were donating sperm?

MICHAEL LINDEN: No, never gave it a thought. I wasn't...I wasn't given any counselling as is offered to donors now. I was...in fact I believe, frankly, I was misled in the sense that I was never.....it was never formally stated to me that my donations would be used to create children. I was left quite... "

Not once did you ever consider that your sperm would be used to create children ?!! .....you in fact " never gave it a thought" and then in the same sentence you try to shift your blame by saying " I was misled...it was never formally stated ..." . How can anyone be misled when they are not even giving it a thought in the first place !?

You were born with a brain and although it may never have been formally stated that you ought to use it , it's never too late Michael.

PS: Lia, haven't you got anything better to do ? why don't you start your own blog ?
my suggestion to you is : Get a life ! ( your own life )

Max + DD = DynamoDad

2006-06-19T18:18:00.000+10:00

Some of you may have noticed, I recently cleaned out my blog, reorganised my links with a his and hers section, added a few miscellanous links and even a funny quote of the day.
I've also changed my signature to Max because a lot of people know me by that "nom de plume" and I thought it would be a lot more simple to stick to just one name.

So if you see a comment on your blog as "Max" where as before it used to say "DD" just know that we are one and only..

Male infertility awareness campaign.

2006-06-17T13:52:00.000+10:00

In Support of Richard's plea, I've created this simple slogan. I used pink for the baby/love aspect of things and green the colour of hope as the colours for this image.

It's a straight to the point idea which I think your average male should be able to relate to. It's designed in a way that can be used anywhere in the world and I'm just posting it here to get some feedback from fellow bloggers and bloggettes alike.

Should I get enough positive feedback, I'm going to design banners and buttons so that it can become more blog display friendly and encourage bloggers and bloggettes of the infertility fellowship to display it on their side bar and to encourage others to do the same.

Reading about Richard's ideas made we wonder what I could do myself. I could of course write lengthy letters to politicians etc...but unless it's going to have an influence on votes most of them just wouldn't give a rat's ass about such issue.

We all have access to the internet and so do millions of others. let's make the most of it. I thought that the email idea was good but I for one probably would delete such things before even reading it because more often that not this kind of email contain crap advertising at best and viruses at worse. On the other hand an image displayed on a blog is not something you can delete, let's make our own generic advertising !

All rights of reproduction (pun intended) in regards to the picture above are not only allowed but also encouraged !

Let's not wait for governments to start things rolling, let's create our own international campaign !

Once upon a tag...

2006-06-13T22:00:00.000+10:00

Just when I thought it was safe to get back into blogging , here comes another tagging game !....Since both my better half and myself were tagged together, I was tempted to just copy and paste her answers into my blog but then I realised that I didn't have a handbag. Thanks to Katty for tagging me along. :)

5 Items in my fridge:

1. A jar of Moutarde de Dijon
2. Half a bottle of sweet chilli sauce
3. A pack of marinated tofu
4. A six pack of Killkenny irish beer
5. A half eaten can of Halva

5 items in my cupboard:

1. My Nikon SLR
2. A bright yellow waterproof encasing for my Nikon SLR
3. Some genuine Lavender sachets that my mum brought from the south of France
4. A pack of mothballs
5. A bottle of cheap crappy shampoo

5 items in my bag:

1. My lunch box which usually consists of 4 slices of bread, a can of tuna, a diet yoghurt, a fruit and a few nuts and raisins.
2. A couple of small umbrellas
3. A funky looking pen
4. A book to read in the bus
5. A bottle of tap water

5 items in my car:
1. Empty bottles of water rolling under the seat
2. Music tapes
3. A pack of minty lollies
4. A sunshade
5. 2 Beach chairs in the boot

I was thinking about tagging a couple of hundred people myself but I'm feeling kind of lazy tonight so I'm only going to tag one instead...I'm looking at quality rather than quantity anyway..

and the winner is...well I was planning on nominating this person:

http://the-end-of-my-line.blogspot.com/

but my better half beat me to it...and after looking for some new blog to tag for the last half hour I'm sorry to say that I will not be able to tag someone in particular.

Selfish people..

2006-06-09T22:24:00.000+10:00

The white protocol explained...

2006-06-09T22:19:00.000+10:00

All we need is love

2006-06-03T09:20:00.000+10:00

One thing that never ceases to amaze me in those debate about DI is the way the anti factions approach the subject.

On one hand they preach about love and respect for the unborn child on the other they treat people who differ in opinion with contempt.

They point out that DC children are given no choice in the matter and that is what is causing them so much hurt.Yet they rejoice in knowing that a new law will make possible for a DC child to find out their origins via a letter from their donor as they reach 18. This has the potential to cause great distress, yet the anti lobby is celebrating.

Who's choice is that? Not the child's that's for sure !

They pretend to know it all, to have the answers, however they are no gods, just mere mortals and whether or not they realise it, they have become one with their own nemesis.

Don't preach love if all you have in your heart is hate.

The white protocol

2006-05-31T17:59:00.000+10:00

DD's Comic strip.

2006-05-29T18:17:00.000+10:00

Some news.

2006-05-20T07:40:00.000+10:00

I know it's been a while since I have written anything here. So what's happening I hear you ask, well since last time I wrote I've read close to 10 more books for one thing. Then there is my work with whom I hold a love / hate relationship. I like what I do and all the people I work with in my team are charming but they can truly drive me nuts at times.
I'm the oldest person in my team, and I'm sure that some of those young people see me as being real pedantic but for me I'm just doing my job. Our team leader in my opinion has been somewhat too soft but all is about to change I hope as they are doing some restructuring and we'll be getting a new team leader as of Monday.
Some of the things that drive me nuts include :
1/ those who manage to transform their 45 mns lunch time into a 2 hour break.
2/ those who spend an hour a day talking to friends on work time.
3/ those who do not show any initiative whatsoever.
4/ those who can't even make a decent photocopy.
5/ those who when their task is finished will just sit there at their desk doing nothing when there is a ton of work to be done in other areas.

It bugs me because I take pride in what I do and I like a job well done and therefore I find myself having to pick up the pieces. I feel like saying something but since I do not have a permanent position within the service, I hardly feel like I have a right to complain and besides that means I would have to bypass my current team leader and voice my concerns to the person above them. Anyway we'll see what happens with our new team leader...

Apart from that my other half is still not feeling 100%. The morning after surgery when I called her hospital room and she answered the phone she said, " Good News ! the doctor said that all is well except for a polyp that he removed ! " ...and while I should have been happy in a way, I felt sad and angry, because as I said to her, for me it is more like bad news since it doesn't explain why our IUI have failed. I was hoping in a crazy way that the doctor would have found something causing the negative results that he could have removed and that it meant a guaranteed positive on the next IUI.

But no there's nothing obvious, which means that she's been through all of this for nothing basically. She is still recovering at home and I miss being able to put my arms around her due to the emplacement of the wounds. Now on Sunday we have to go to one of my nephew's wedding and I'm concern about her health as she needs to be resting really.
The recovery period is longer than what we both expected....

phone pix

2006-05-13T16:40:00.000+10:00

Pictures taken with my phone recently...

What's up doc ?

2006-05-01T19:23:00.000+10:00

I'm feeling really exhausted at the moment and I'm not sure why. It just makes my days difficult to get through. I'm trying to concentrate on solving problems for my work while at the same time having to fight dosing off on my computer, it' s not easy.
I get more and more mental blanks too, my memory is failing and talking to workmates in a coherent manner has become a new sport for me. It feels as if I'd not had any sleep for the last 72 hours.

Now it's not like I go clubbing at night, I'm usually in bed by 9h30 pm....so I really don't get it. I've thought about this problem and came up with three possibilities.

1/ I've got some sleep disorder meaning although I go to sleep, I don't actually recuperate all that well.
2/ The medications I am currently on list "yawning" and "lethargy" as a side effect.
3/ I'm so used to working shift work than my body clock is struggling to cope with the new 9 to 5 dayshift.

Unfortunately talking to my GP about it is not going to be all that helpful. I did mention it to her before, but I'm no doctor so none of the above could possibly be a scientific good enough reason. My GP came up with a few reasons of her own.

1/ You've just given up smoking, it's the lack of nicotine in your body that makes you sleepy.
2/ The medications you are taking do list sleepiness as a side effect but this usually happens only at the beginning of treatment.
3/ You need to exercise more, because exercise is good for you and will help you sleep better and make your hair grow back, cure stomach aches and make you more attractive to the opposite sex . ( Ok...she didn't say those last few words )

Not so long ago I use to exercise about 4 hours per day and smoke a pack of cigarettes as well and I still felt sleepy....so go figure !

When I visit my GP she expects me to tell her what is wrong with me....Now I'm not the one with the degree and the yacht anchered off the bahamas so how come I'm supposed to make my own diagnostic.? I try to explain how I feel only so that she can spend the rest of the appointment telling me how misinformed I am and that there is nothing to worry about.

Some doctors really bug me especially the all mighty OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST. I've seen many of them after my accident. What on earth is an occupational therapist ? ...they specialise in occupational injuries like papercuts and broken nails ?

I remember seeing this guy ( specialist in occupational therapy) who upon looking at my swollen ankle ( yes he had xray vision) told me that it was easily explainable, the reason your ankle is swollen is because you are wearing a tight sock. It obviously couldn't have been because 6 months earlier I had suffered a crush fracture of my ankle and it was taking a long time to heal....no it was the tight sock !.....he didn't explain why the other ankle wasn't swollen even though I was wearing the same sock on the other foot...I must admit that he was an insurance doctor but that doesn't give him a licence to be a total moron.

Three months after seeing this bullshit artist I underwent surgery on my ankle for some shredded tendon repairs...amazing what a tight sock can do..

And then there was the occupational therapist at my old place of work who insisted on talking to me for an hour to explain how to sit correctly at my desk, stressing how important it is to keep all objects close to my body so that no overreaching takes place . We have to minimize aggravating your wrist and your shoulder. However he couldn't see anything wrong with giving me some task involving lifting 10 kg boxes in a repetitive manner.

Occupational therapists are just a bunch of people who couldn't cut in med school and had to find shitty alternatives.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance with any past, present or future person is purely coincidental and fictitious. No animals were harmed during the production of this web site. Do not operate heavy machinery while viewing this web site as it may cause drowsiness. . External use only. Discontinue use if irritation develops.

TAG: Target Acquisition and Guidance

2006-04-26T20:18:00.000+10:00

Ok so I've been tagged ! Now let me explain to you how this works...

Nina, blablabla blablabla bla "TAG", blabla bla blablabla blabla "BLOG". Bla blablabla blabla ? Bla bla bla Nina !

Now that everyone understand this very profound concept let me tell you about 6 random, weird and wonderful things about me.

1/ I roll my shirt sleeves up at work, I'm the only one that does it. I don't like the feel of having long sleeves and I don't like short sleeves shirts either.

2/ I love computer and video games. I used to have "fragging" matches online. I have a PS2 and I just recently purchased the latest Tomb Raider game, Lara Croft is stunning as usual.

3/ I once shot a bird with a rifle....and I missed.

4/ I lived in this tiny flat in Versailles France, walls were so thin that my neighbour complained about my alarm clock waking her up in the mornings !

5/ When I was fifteen, my father managed to get me in the famous Paris show of "les folies bergeres"...I was really excited at the thought of seeing some sexy chicks but came out really disappointed when I realised that the dancers were mostly middle aged woman wearing a ton of make up.

6/ I don't know anyone else who would be willing to be tagged so I've decided to tag some unknown people taken at random via their blogs...

so the chosen ones are :

Dave
jillian
muriel
suze
shally
shrija

For those who don't get it you've got to write 6 things about yourself in your blog and ask another 6 blogs of your choice to do the same kind of stuff...kind of like a chain blog letter...anyway if you want to know who is responsible for this stoopid idea go here ! :P

Flick art

2006-04-21T20:37:00.000+10:00

I've just posted a new set on my flicker. It's a collection of art works I have done in the past. There is a bit of everything from surrealists paintings, to crazy cartoons. These were the days before computers, I haven't held a pen with the intent of seriously drawing something for many years.
One of these days I might give it another go...who knows.

DI-DADS TTC

2006-04-21T17:50:00.000+10:00

This post is not about trying to conceive but about men trying to cook. It's something I meant to post ages ago but somehow never got down to doing it.

A while back, I'd ask a couple of DI Dads or Dads to be to join me in sharing their cooking experience and to give me one of their favourite receipes so that I could post it on my blog. The only conditions I'd ask of them was that, first it had to be something they had made themselves previously and secondly it had to be related to their traditional origins.

Richard was the first to reply and well the second person admitted of not being the best at cooking but that he would nevertheless send me something he's made....I am still waiting, but being the person that I am, I will not name any names so that this person doesn't feel as if they are under pressure of any kind to provide me with a receipe.....let's just say they've been busy moving ... :P

Richard's choice :

My grandmothers recipe for cheesecake. Consider yourself privileged :-) Hope it's not too complex

1/2 block of lemon jelly
1/2 pt max of boiling water (you'll need a little bit less)
1 small tin of evaporated milk (chilled in the fridge)
small tub of philidelphia cream cheese
juice and rind of 1 lemon
8oz Digestive biscuits (crushed to crumbs)
2oz Caster Sugar
3oz Butter
Loose based or shallow cake tin

1) Melt butter and mix in biscuit crumbs. Pack tightly into bottom of cake tin and place in fridge.
2) cut up jelly block, mix in lemon juice and rind and add boiling water so that jug measures up to 1/2 pint. Leave to cool but not set.
3) Whisk evaporated milk until very thick. An electric mixer is the only way to really get this right.
4) Mix cream cheese with sugar and beat, then add to evap milk and gently mix in. Fold in cooled jelly mix
5) Place mix over chilled base and place in fridge until set

This was, and still is my all time favorite dessert. My parents gave it to me the first time when I was three and after my first helping I wanted more. My mum said I couldn't have any more until the morning and put me to bed. My parents were awoken the next morning at 3am by me sticking my head over the end of the bed and shouting "Cheeeeeeeeeeeesecake". To be fair, they gave me a slice and put me back to bed.

My own choice :

Biscuit au Yaourt . (receipe passed on by my mum before I left for the penal colonies of Australia ) :P

1 tub plain yoghurt 175 g approx. (keep empty tub to measure rest of ingredients )
1 tub and a half of caster sugar 160g approx
3 tubs of self raising flour 200g approx
half a tub of oil ( peanut or sunflower is probably best )
2 eggs
1 pinch of salt.

1/ In a large bowl combine and mix each ingredient one at a time until forming a smooth paste.
2/ pour into a buttered cake tin and add whatever ingredient turns you on... I've done it with sliced canned pears, chocolate, and orange rind so far, but anything goes.
3/ place tin in oven on 200 degrees celsius for approx 35 mns, to find out if it's cooked plant a knife in the middle ( remove from oven first if you haven't done this before ) , if when you pull the blade out you've got gooey stuff stuck on it , it's not cooked enough, on the contrary if you need to drill the cake first before inserting the knife, the cake is probably overcooked.

I've picked this receipe because it's really easy to make , tastes always good and is really versatile. It allows anyone to be creative and personalise its flavours the way they want to. This cake is also very nice plain.

Afrobeat

2006-04-19T20:49:00.000+10:00

While waiting for a shuttle to take us home after having the whole day at our music festival, I noticed this young woman who seemed upset, talking to her partner.
She must have been in her late 20's and spoke so fast that I could not understand one single word. Then I finally realised that she wasn't speaking english at all but german ! I could tell by looking at her body language that something had really pissed her off and she had decided to share it with her partner whether he wanted to hear it or not.

I felt sorry for this guy, he wasn't saying much which when put in this situation is probably a good strategy. She just kept on going on and on and on etc.....

I turned to my wife and said: She must be on Suprecur...

Apart from that I really enjoyed Femi Kuti's live concert, we were on the very front row so we had a great view. He had 3 fabulous african dancers that could move in some really incredible ways, think bellydancers on speed.
I've always liked percussions and exotic tunes and Afrobeats has it all.

ET...phone home

2006-04-13T18:08:00.000+10:00

Every day as I leave work, I must walk across a few streets in the city to get to my connecting bus stop. As I wait for my bus to arrive, I often look at the passing crowd with interest, they are so many different kind of people about it's never boring.

I notice that these days many people walk while talking to someone on their mobile phone. It's funny really to think that in its early development a mobile phone was about the size of a brick and no one except for the odd tradesman would have wanted to have one. Now that they are tiny, they're is suddenly a need for them. They've almost become a disease !

So this afternoon as I waited for my bus I whipped out my mobile phone and called my other half and it went something like this..

- Hi Hun !

- Hi...where are you ?

- I'm just on my way home waiting for my bus. I'm just calling because I wanted to
experience the "phone glued to ear" city syndrome....

- ..LOL..silly bugger.

- ..Ok well I'll see you tonight but I might stay on the phone a bit, just pretending
I'm talking for a bit longer !

As I stood there on the sidewalk holding my phone to my ear I felt the power surge through me.

I could have been talking to anyone...I could have been talking to my wife, discussing politics with George Bush and Michael Moore, asked Jamie Oliver to cook us dinner tonight, passed on confidential information on how to make a nuclear powered toaster to the Iranians, Asked Mick Jagger if he wouldn't mind bringing the boys around for a jamming session in my garage....

and nobody would have known....

If only ET had had a mobile phone he wouldn't have had to go through all the trouble he went through...( quite remarkable that those aliens knew how to build a space ship to cross the galaxy but hadn't quite come up with mobile phone technology as yet ! )

Easter Kringle

2006-04-08T10:04:00.000+10:00

On Thursday K from the admin department came to me asking whether i'd be interested in taking part in their Easter Kringle and I answered "Yes" straight away. Normally I would have said "NO" but since I have started this new chapter in my life and I am trying to be more positive, I am pushing some of my boundaries and even breaking some.
K briefly explained that the idea was to put people's names into a box and then have a draw and then you had to buy ten bucks worth of easter eggs to that person....right.....yep sounds ok. However after thinking about it for a while, a question slowly formulated in my head...Why doesn't everyone of us buy our own bloody Easter eggs ?!

My better half celebrate Kris Kringle at her place of work for Xmas. They all make up some really creative gadgets or toys that matches their colleagues personality for the occasion. Now I can see the fun in that, but I can't see the fun in just buying someone else an Easter egg because it's Easter...

When K came to see me again in order for me to draw a name out of the box, I asked her if the whole Easter Kringle was meant to be kind of humorous....a few seconds of silence lapsed, followed by a stern look from this 20 something young woman, before she replied with a straight face that all I needed was to buy some chocolate easter eggs.

Alrighty then...I just picked a small piece of paper and opened it up and lucky me ! ..I have to find something for the big boss !!!....I figure that depending on what I get him, it could either expend my chances of getting a job in his department or it could see me on my way out in the near future !

I'm still not thrilled about just getting some chocolate eggs, it sounds too boring for me, it's not because that's what everyone else does that I need to follow their lead, I do not want to be part of the flock of boredom, I'd rather be the black sheep and do something different but at the same time I don't know those people well enough as of yet so I may have to be diplomatic....what a dilemma !!

PS: I've updated my flicker gallery, it's a collection of some of my favourite picks i've taken over the years mostly in Australia, so If you need a bit of warmth and exotism to relax your mind , this gallery is for you.

easy riding

2006-04-05T18:12:00.000+10:00

There are a few things i'd like to write about but for the moment they are going to wait a bit, since I'm partly half asleep by the time I get back home after work plus I've volunteered to cook for the next two nights.
Nevertheless, I've upgraded the photo gallery and dug out some old pics from my bike riding days...

There is even a pick of "the light of my darkness" when I took her out for a ride and that was before our wedding....aaah gone are the days when I was young and athletic ! :)...the days when I rode freely with my hair in the wind..errr hang on, I shaved my head then...well you get the picture anyway. ;)

No smoking

2006-04-01T18:26:00.000+11:00

I've now been giving up smoking for three weeks and smoke free for two, it's been relatively easy since I am wearing a patch, although there are times when I still crave a cigarette.

I had this old pack of tobacco in the house which I finally threw out last night so that the temptation wouldn't be there anymore.
All I need to do now is to loose some weight and start exercising ..I just need to get motivated I guess.

On Thursday I was called into the second in charge's office at work, where he told me that he'd only heard good things about me and that I was doing a great job. He asked me whether I liked it there and so I said yes and told him that I'd like to apply for a permanent position should the opportunity presents itself. He was very encouraging and said that he would have a talk to the "big boss" upon his return next month. I felt pretty good upon coming out of his office, especially since he complimented my work at least three times within the 10 minutes I spent there.

On Friday I got a free head and shoulder massage at work, it's free and part of their work practices once a month. I can definitively see myself working there as a permanent employee !

I'm hoping to become an investigator, but I'd be happy with any job really. Since my accident and my return to work, I have only been given temporary duties at my old place of employement and some of them have been really crap.
It's almost as if the company tries to push you out of the door by giving you all the shit jobs hoping that you will eventually be fed up and resign.

Regardless of all those rehabilitation laws currently in place, once you have a physical disability of any kind, you get treated like a vegetable in most workplaces.

This new job is the same company but because it's the corporate side, physical disabilities are not an issue as long as you can use your brain.

I've put in a photo gallery on the right hand side, just put some pics I currently had on my computer but I'm going to try to change it every now and again and do a theme gallery.
We've got a few weeks in front of us before our next big step and I got inspired by the great pics on stellaand/ben blogspot so I thought I'd take some of my own.

I did take photography as a major while studying fine arts in college and I used to take lots of photos years ago but stopped when computers came in. The same happened with my drawing and painting. Vee and I always say that we ought to get back into it, we've got all that we need, we just need to make a time for it.

FS tuesday

2006-03-29T18:30:00.000+11:00

Last weekend my wife and I had to take our cat to the vet. We came in early so we had to wait a bit. I was looking around the waiting room and saw that they were selling a lot of pet stuff, brushes, toys, food bowls with cute decorations...the usual stuff. Then something caught my eye, it was one of those yellow warning signs shaped like an hexagone that you stick on the inside of your car window and it read "DOGGY ON BOARD".
I turned to my better half and said mostly to myself out loud:
I wonder if they also make some of those for cats with " PUSSY ON BOARD" written on it instead !?

Tuesday came. It was a beautiful morning, there was a haze in the air and the sun played hide and seek between the buildings as it rose slowly over the city.
I love the city early in the morning, before the invasion of the heavy crowds. The buildings glow like ambers reflecting the sun rays and every now and again you can catch the smell of roast coffee wafting from a shopfront.
The Monorail glides silently between the skyscrapers like a snake making its way in the long grass.

Nothing much happened at work, except work. When doing some photocopies, I noticed a sign taped to the door for the first time. It said " CSI Letterhead "....wow !! ...I had to see that ! I opened the cupboard door and ...there was nothing in there much to my disappointment... I reckon it would have been cool ...CSI Las Vegas, CSI Miami, CSI New York and finally CSI Sydney !

Then I left early cause we had our appointment with the FS. We had lunch at the hospital cafeteria, I asked for a beef burgundy with some chips and I got served beef burgundy with some steamed rice instead....go figure !?
When we got to the clinic's office, my wife knocked on the door and spoke with nurse R, I was standing in the doorframe peering inside smiled at the nurse but she didn't return my smile, in fact I felt like a superhero, I felt like the invisible man ! I used to feel like the invisible man with every nurses at the beginning but some of them are starting to acknowledge me and even talk directly to me now but that particular one still ignores me, unless of course she's blind as a bat and deaf as a post.

Eventually we got to see the FS. I've got to admit that he is kind of weird, he looks like a mad professor. I noticed that he wasn't wearing a wedding band, maybe he lost it inside some body...who knows.
He wears glasses as thick as ice cubes that don't seem to help much because when he was writing the referral his face was only a few centimetres off the paper.
He complained that after 20 years in the joint, he still couldn't find stationary with his letterhead on it ! His assistant had to go and fetch some ...actually she cheated cause it was just the hospital's letterhead and he had to write his name above the address with his pen which made the whole thing look a bit amateurish me thinks..

So now we've got some more waiting to do, but at least we'll have done all that we can before we start IVF. I'm trying to be realistic and concentrate on the positive side of things, use that time to get more healthy, maybe even upgrade our computer !

Actually we ended our day at the Mac shop, looking at leasing a new G5 instead of buying it, checking out prices and getting excited at the thought of getting a new computer....we haven't decided as of yet but we'll let you know when it happens...

Bandits

2006-03-25T07:51:00.000+11:00

I haven't written much lately because I've been feeling rather tired. You see, I lead a secret life during my spare moments. For example last morning I stepped into my bus and said hello to the driver and he replied :

"Dynamo One-One, many bandits at one o'clock, twenty miles high. Chicks at two o'clock, seventy miles. Burner disengage east, Bugout south. Acknowledge."

And out of my mouth came this response:

"Zulu, One-One copies."

I then went on taking a sit on the bus and as soon as I turned my ipod on I received this message:

"Apex, Dynamo, twelve o'clock, fifteen miles.."

Suddenly a bat-wing symbol appeared directly on my mobile phone in front of me on the threat warning scope, well within lethal range, and I got a bright red MISSILE LAUNCH indication and a fast warning tone through my ipod in my ears.
The passenger sitting next to me yelled out:

"Fighter off the nose ! "

I saw him press the button for the bus to stop at the next section.

" Chaff's out ! Vertical Jinks ! " He then said aloud.

I looked through the bus window just in time to see a missile whiz past me and and explode about two hundred yards off the left, close enough to feel the shock wave against the side of the bus.

Then the bus driver called out:

"Dynamo, many bandits twelve o'clock high, twelve miles, line abreast, continue burner east, junk'em and hunker down."

Followed by a new voice.

"Can I see your ticket, please sir ?"

I suddenly snapped out of my book and looked up to see a transport official waiting for me to show him my bus pass . Some of you will be glad to see that I am not totally nuts and for those who still wonders, Yes I do take my medications !

When I was a kid, reading wasn't one of my favourite past times. I just found it boring I guess, on the other hand I loved comic strips, from "Tintin" and "Asterix & Obelix" to the" Marvel comics" and magazines such as "Heavy Metal" where the artists "Moebius", "Corben" and "Druillet" could be found.

Then in my teens, I started reading a bit more, notably a novel by a french author "Patrick Cauvin" called "E=MC2 mon amour", a love story between two gifted 11 years old really showed me how words could make one laugh and cry.

I then went on reading about true life stories relating to world war II, life and death in the Polish ghettos and I found my first saucy yet very tame erotic reading experience in "JAWS" by Peter Benchley.

By my late teens I was a fan of Sci-Fi and enjoyed books by Philip. K. Dick, Lovencraft and Ray Bradbury, I also enjoyed reading philosophy works by Nietzsche. My favourite poet was and still is Arthur Rimbaud.

Then when I came to Australia, I stopped reading because I just didn't have a good enough knowledge of english to get stuck into a novel. A few years went by and one day I picked a cheap novel by an unknown author and thought I'd try to read it in the bus and there's been no stopping me from that day onwards.

Nowadays I tend to read "light" novels, my favourite author is "Nelson De Mille", I find his novels have a good blend of suspense, action and love and mostly a great sense of humour. I've read every single one of his books and loved them all. I like buying cheap paperbacks, usually their authors might not be as well known as "Tom Clancy". "Clive Cussler" or "John Grisham" but it doesn't mean they are bad writers. I just look at the cover art, flick through the pages, and read the short review on the back cover and well sometimes it's a dud and other times I'm very happily surprised.

Right now I'm reading a novel by "Dale Brown" called "Chains of Command", it's about Jet fighers. I rescued this book from being thrown out into the garbage. I don't know much about fighter pilots and it's usually not something that I would have read about, but I have found it difficult to put this book down in the last two weeks since I started it.

Here let me read to you what "Clive Cussler" author of "Sahara" had to say about "Dale Brown".

"...Her hands wrapped around his back, and they kissed. The kiss quickly intensified as both tasted, explored, and sought even more. Her hips briefly moved against him, an unbidden but insistent invitation..."

Oooops ! Sorry wrong page ! ... Let me start again. : P

" Dale Brown is the best military adventure writer in the country today, a master at creating a sweeping epic and making it seem real."

Anyway I've just about finished this 603 pages book and I've got another two books waiting for me...not including the fact I'm on vacuum duty today so I'd better go !

Art, the way it is...

2006-03-20T19:34:00.000+11:00

Well, last saturday night my wife, one her friend, and myself went out to the city together. Actually our friend's girl friend was exhibiting her work in a local art gallery so we went there to check it out.

There were other women artists there and it was nice to see something a bit different. Some of the works were very abstract but had a lot of meanings attached to them.

Firstly it was a series of paintings with a black background and some very simple curvy white lines, it was meant to be a series of work invoquing pregnancy..( with our luck it couldn't have been about anything else obviously ! ), very stylish, personally all I could see were white lines over a black background, having said that, it would look real good in a shrink's waiting room.

In the second room we were presented with a series of etchings. Not the kind of etchings I'd invite a date back at my place to check out, that's for sure ! This was more like the left overs of erotic etchings. They were sickly looking pictures of undergarments, knickers and what looked like long johns to me, glorified in pissy yellows with doubtful browns.

In the third room, things started to brighten up. They were works done with coloured ink on paper, looked really funky. I reckon these would look good to complement a modern setting such as those seen in "Vogue" magazine.

Finally our friend's friend works were displayed in the last room. On one side of the wall there was a series of colour photographs, close ups of strawberries, carrots, apricots and fish nets. and in the middle some photos printed on chiffon hanging from the ceiling, they were four "sails" one with a pic of barbwire and the others of statues which had been slightly distorted.

This work was about the holocaust and quite well done, however the whole spiritual experience didn't quite reach me since the artist in question was somewhat showing a bit too much cleavage and I found it to be very distracting.

The pictures of strawberries, carrots and apricots all looked like melons after a while and I must admit that it was really hard to concentrate on anything else. ;)

Changes.

2006-03-18T15:10:00.000+11:00

A few things have changed in my life recently, I've started a new job last week and decided to give up smoking at the same time so it feels right that I ought to make some changes in my future blog postings.

DI issues started my need for blogging, I needed a place to voice my questions and concerns and I was hopeful that a meaningful dialogue could take place between people who shared different views. In hindsight, I was perhaps asking for too much too soon.

I've therefore decided to turn the page and start a new chapter. My blog will no longer be a platform for debating the ethics of DI. My blog will be for me and those who enjoy reading it.

It will be about a little bit of everything that touches my life including DI. It is easy to get obscessed with the issues regarding DI and to start feeling depressed. Sometimes the best way to combat such feelings is to have a good laugh. It's important to keep your sense of humour in the worse of situations so while you will still read about DI on occasions on my blog, I will take on a lighter approach to the subject.

My wife sometimes tells me that I have a weird sense of humour, so I grant you that I may very well offend some of you from time to time which of course is a shame but won't stop me from sleeping at night.

The fact that I might make fun of some serious issues will not be out of disrespect but because it helps me deal with them and since this blog is mine, I do not feel a need to apologise . There are other blogs out there who will keep on having a far more serious approach and doing a pretty good job of it, feel free to visit them.

In the future if I need to share deeper thought about DI, I will do so with people who understand my feelings and who do not judge me. Such a group of people can be found on the di_dads Yahoo group.

I have also decided to stop moderating my comments, this will give you the satisfaction of reading your own comment just after having posted it !
One word of warning though is that any hateful or otherwise aggressive comment will be deleted.

First impressions

2006-03-14T18:42:00.000+11:00

Yesterday I started a new job in a corporate environment. I felt pretty confident in my perfectly well ironed shirt however that came to a halt at about 10h30 in the morning. Earlier on I'd been given a tour of the place and shown where the bathroom was. To get there you have to go through this heavy fire door and to come back to the office you need to swipe your pass in order to open it.

Anyway around 10h30 on that first day, I had to go to the bathroom so I walked past all my new colleagues desk showing off my newly ironed shirt ( it's quite a big place ) and entered the small corridor that led to the security door.

I turned the handle and pushed outward but the door didn't open. I tried a second time harder but it wouldn't budge, after the 5th time, I started to think that maybe I had to swipe my card coming from the inside as well.

I started to look around me but found nothing unusual except for this white switch on the wall and I thought that it must be it. That must be the switch for the door, it's the only explanation ! So I flicked the switch and....and.....wait for it.......

.........the whole office got plunged into darkness ! doh !

I finally worked out that you had to pull the door towards you first before pushing it out but let me tell you that when I came out of the bathroom I just tried to blend in with the environment and I wished that my shirt had a camo pattern on it.

It's quite amazing because I recall another story which involved a bathroom door, it was in one of my first jobs here in Australia.

The guys I worked with were real pranksters and when someone went to the bathroom they often turned the light switch off. Since there was no windows, the room would become pitch black and you couldn't even see your hand in front of your face.

Being the new guy at the time, they played that trick on me, it didn't really bother me because I was just about to step out of the cubicle when they switched the light off however when I went to push the door it wouldn't open.

I tried again and nothing happened, well it moved but there was some resistance, I thought that maybe my colleagues had stuck a chair under the door handle which would have explained why it wouldn't open. I dreaded the thought of having to call for help, I mean those guys would have made fun of me forever so instead I kicked the door, I heard a big bang and it opened. I walked up to the light switch and turn it on. Well.....I'd kicked the door right out of its hinges...and furthermore there was no chair on the otherside...I realised later that the door opened inward not outward !!!!

No one has ever found out who broke the door of that cubicle.....:P

Iron Zen

2006-03-13T18:28:00.000+11:00

I volunteered to iron my work shirts the other night since my wife was doing the cooking. Ironing is a strange thing don't you think ? I mean who decided that suddenly after centuries of living in crumpled clothes we needed to iron them ?!
In the prehistoric era no one cared if your mammoth fur coat was slightly crumpled when you went out hunting !
So who is the idiot who invented such a need ? Looks like we can blame the chinese for that one, since they invented Iron casting. Then in 1882 a NY inventor by the name of Henry W. Seeley came up with the first electric iron. His iron weighed almost 15 pounds and took a long time to warm up. Now it weighs much less but it still takes people a long time to warm up to the idea of spending the evening ironing.

Now let's come back to this first guy, his idea was really stupid but he sure is a genius at marketing. I mean how do you go about selling a product that everybody hates, takes a lot of your time and is not user friendly ? Ever since then we keep on ironing and whining while doing it.

Technically speaking since 1882 it hasn't improved a great deal, irons look more like streamlined speedboats nowadays although I don't know that it makes the task of ironing go any faster ! It's time to come up with something new...I present the " i iron ". Works easy, take one crumpled shirt put it inside your i iron and 2 minutes later it comes out automatically ironed. I think we'd sell a lot more of those than ipods !

I must admit that after a while, I got used to the gentle glide of the iron on the fabric of my shirts and I felt at peace within. Maybe I could try to market a new relaxing technique focusing on the whole ironing spiritual experience.

For the dedicated iron lovers out there I found this link that shows you how to toast your cheese sandwich with an iron.

http://www.southphillyblocks.org/photos_essays/grilled_cheese/

Pest control

2006-03-10T16:40:00.000+11:00

Open Publishing - Aggressive and Disruptive Behaviour: Flaming, Trolling and Hate-Speech

Definitions and Introduction

"Open publishing forums often encounter the problem of aggressive and disruptive behaviour of users. The most common of these problems are flaming, trolling and hate-speech.

Flaming is the act of posting a comment or article in an open publishing forum that is intended to be hostile and insulting. The person who participates in flaming is termed a flamer. Each hostile comment or article is described as a flame (Wikipedia, 2005a). Flamebaiting is the act of posting a comment or article in an open publishing forum that is likely to start flaming or a flamewar; a series of flaming messages. Flamebaiting is not directly hostile or insulting; rather it is a passive-aggressive method in order to start flaming. The person who participates in flamebaiting is referred to as a baiter (Wikipedia, 2005b).

Trolling is the act of posting a comment or article in an open publishing forum that is intended to provoke and disrupt the discussion of users by producing a large volume of frivolous responses (Bond, 1999). The content of such a post may consist of a foolish contradiction of common knowledge, a deliberately offensive insult to the readers or a broad request for trivial follow-up postings (Bond, 1999). The person who participates in trolling is termed a troll.

Hate-speech is the act of publishing comments and articles that contain racist, sexist, homophobic, libellous content or the use of language that encourages hate or violence. Open publishing sites such as Indymedia frequently encounter such hate-filled posts. Open publishing seeks to provide equal access for everyone to have a space for the sharing of dialogue and information (Langlois, 2004, p.67). However, as open publishing networks have expanded globally organisations, such as Indymedia, have found that articles and comments promoting inequality, homophobia, sexism, racism, anti-Semitism and other forms of discrimination, as well as disrespect for the principles behind open publishing itself, have become a significant problem (Langlois, 2004, p.67)."

Source.

Pest control.

By Edmund Tadros
August 28, 2004
Icon

"A few years ago, a man turned up at a regular meeting of American feminists. Before he joined in, however, he told the group they would eventually throw him out because, in his words, all feminists were "bigots and liars".

He then proceeded to undermine many of the group's discussions, using a combination of disingenuous comments, intentionally outrageous claims and, eventually, direct insults.

Despite this, he was not immediately ejected. Instead, group members argued with him, argued about arguing with him, argued that everyone should just ignore him, until the meeting organiser took matters into her own hands and kicked him out.

This drama didn't play out in a real-world meeting place but on an internet-based discussion board. These electronic discussions, which cover almost any imaginable interest, allow like-minded people from around the world to post messages.

And the man, who probably would never have behaved this way in real life, is a classic example of an internet troll - a cyber prankster whose sometimes playful, sometimes abusive, mostly puerile and occasionally useful behaviour can tear an online community apart or leave it more bonded than ever.

Trolls take pleasure in disrupting online discussions by posting controversial messages, explains Susan Herring, a professor of information science at Indiana University in the United States, who wrote a paper about the troll attack on the feminist discussion board.

"The group was infiltrated by a couple of different men. One person [who they referred to as Kent] came on the group and announced from the outset that he was going to get kicked off the group. He said that feminists were intolerant," says Herring.

"He said he wanted to discuss the issues but all he really wanted to do was disrupt the group. He actually manipulated the ideologies of feminism, which is open and tolerant, and if people in the group tried to shut him up overtly they would prove they were intolerant. He won either way."

Kent's posts to the feminist discussion group, which had about 200 active participants, were provocative enough that someone would inevitably take the bait. In one post, Kent the troll, oozing false sincerity, wrote: "Incidentally, I take the silence over the gender wage gap hoax to mean that no feminist here even wants to TRY to defend their biggest lie: that men are paid more for the same work than women are."

Fighting with Kent was difficult because he was never specifically offensive, just subversive. In another message, he challenged the group: "In summary, what exactly is offensive about my posts? If you can tell me I will either stop doing it or leave the board. If, however, you refuse to tell me, and I've not been shy about asking SPECIFICALLY what standards I'm supposed to live by, then I will carry on doing it, of course."

Then, when people tried to ignore him, he would write: "Every poster here has told me that I'm wrong and they are right about feminism. Do you see that? I at least offer proof. I want to discuss, not just drop a slogan and ride out throwing dismissive insults."

The result was chaos, Herring says.

"They didn't know about trolling and I think that would have helped them act more actively. Half the people said ignore him because they figured out he was getting off on the attention. But there were always newcomers or someone else who would take the bait.

"There was another group that said we should just ban him. Then they had the whole discussion about banning him. Finally, the webmistress took matters into her own hands and did ban him. In the process they devised guidelines on how to deal with disruptive people."

Kent the troll focused his energy on upsetting feminists but other trolls are happy to upset a wider range of people.....

.......

So why do it? Why purposely find people who have a common interest and upset them? Like bullies, trolls feel alienated and want attention, says Rebekka Sommer, from the health psychology unit at the University of Technology, Sydney.

"If you're a troll, you're feeling fairly disconnected. Because you're not feeling OK, you go into a discussion group where people are sharing vulnerabilities or passions but you're not experiencing any sense of belonging, so you trivialise that sense of belonging and you feel better about yourself. It is a kind of power trip. It comes down to self-esteem."

Herring says trolling is the cyber version of schoolyard or workplace bullying. "The analogue for trolling is bullying at school but rather than overt bullying, the far more insidious type of bullying. The victim gets a sense that something is going on but you can never confront anyone. I think it's driven by the same thing, which is jealousy." The impersonal nature of the internet also gives rise to this anti-social behaviour.

"There is less accountability online because trolls don't know what you look like and in some ways they can disassociate from the effect they're having on people. It's almost dehumanising," Sommer says.

"I can say something nasty because I don't have to look you in the face. If I don't have to look at you it's easier for me to be hurtful and it still serves my purpose which is to make what you're doing look silly and make me feel better about myself.".....

...Trolls are most common on open internet discussion boards but have also invaded closed online communities.....

....Trolls become a nuisance when they descend into direct abuse, he says. "They're just being outright stupid, it's not even entertaining. It's abusive language for the sake of abusive language."...

As for dealing with trolls, that's simple: ignore them, says Jones. "Ignore it and delete it without any further comment if you can. The worst thing you can do is give them the attention that they are seeking. It's a kind of social terrorism - if you really appease them and give them what they want, they'll terrorise you."

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/08/27/1093518082647.html

Content posted of an agressive or disruptive nature by serial offenders will be removed without prejudice irrespective to what faction you belong to, and repeated offences may attract a Zero Tolerance response from this blog.

Liam Markus. part 2

2006-03-09T19:19:00.000+11:00

Thank you Liam for commenting on my blog and setting the record straight. I'd like to ask you however if you believe that you are an exception to the rule or if you know of other donor offsprings who share your point of view ?

I've also wondered if DC girls were more likely to have "identity problems" rather than DC boys and interestingly enough I found an article on the net this afternoon that makes a reference to it for which you will find an exerpt bellow.

The article was written by
Dr. Vivienne Adair
Director, Centre for Child and family Policy Research
Senior Lecturer, School of Education

"Identities are forged by a combination of the past, present and the future and it is here that parents of children who have a conception using donor gametes have a special set of variables to contend with. As knowing oneself depends to some extent on knowing where one comes from, there may be different stresses and tasks to accomplish. It is always tempting to look to adoption as a comparison, but the situation has important differences. With assisted reproductive technology (ART) there is no ‘giving away’ of a child and donors have been encouraged to view gametes as ‘body parts’ by the donors, rather than as a prospective living child. The second difference is that semen and/or eggs have been produced specifically for recipient parents.

However, there are similarities for the child especially in the middle and late teenage years. The similarities are around the need for information about genetic background. For those teenagers who have a knowledge of the involvement of a donor in their conception, the interest in who they are seems to begin from about 13 years of age. Some want information about the donor at this stage and some want to meet him whether or not that is possible. There is not enough information to make definitive statements about this, but it appears that boys may be less likely to want to meet a donor than girls and that older more than younger teenagers want information. As well, it appears that acceptance of having no information or possible contact is dealt with differently. It would take an indepth study to determine which characteristics lead to acceptance and which do not, and at this point no such study has been undertaken."

http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/afrc6papers/adair.html

Consequences of naming known donor on Birth Certificate in Australia

2006-03-09T16:16:00.000+11:00

Naming a donor on the Birth Certificate does not make him legally a ‘parent’ under family law. However, it does have other consequences.

Both ‘parents’ are expected to sign a birth registration form. If you decide to name the donor on the child’s Birth Certificate, he must sign the registration form.

If you decide not to name the donor, you may have to give the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages a Statutory Declaration either saying that the father is unknown or explaining the circumstances.

The Registrar has been known to refuse to issue a Birth Certificate if you say that you have used a known donor, but not through a clinic, and you do not wish to give the donor’s name. If you have conceived through a donor program run by a clinic, you can give the Registrar a letter from the clinic to prove that there is no legal father.

Paternity for inheritance purposes

Naming a known donor on the Birth Certificate automatically establishes kinship.This gives the child inheritance rights if the donor dies. (The same outcome can be achieved if the donor names the child as beneficiary in his Will.)

Social security

Centrelink policy is that the biological mother is not eligible for social security unless she first tries to get child support from the father named on the Birth Certificate, even though the law is clear that a donor is not liable for child support.

If Centrelink insist on this, even after you tell them it was self-insemination, you can appeal to an authorised review officer and then the Social Security Appeals Tribunal.

Passport

A father registered on the Birth Certificate is required to give his consent (by signing the application) before the child can get a passport.

Responsibility for child support

Two court cases (NSW Supreme Court in 1995 and Family Court in 1996) have decided that if a man isn’t the married or de facto husband of the biological mother of a child conceived by artificial insemination, then he is not the child’s ‘parent’ under the Child Support (Assessment) Act 1989 (Cth) – even if he is named on the Birth Certificate. Therefore he can’t be ordered to pay child support by the Child Support Agency.

This view was confirmed by the Family Court in a 2002 case.

Parenting Orders

There are four types of parenting order:

Residence order – who the child will live with.

Contact order – what contact the child will have with a parent or other significant person.

Specific issues order – any other aspect of day-to-day or long-term parental responsibility, e.g. religion, medical treatment, education, extra-curricular activities.

Maintenance order – not often used as most children are now covered by the Child Support Scheme instead, but can be used for children over 18 who still need financial support.

An application can be made by anyone who is ‘concerned with the care, welfare and development of the child’. This includes a non-biological parent and a known sperm donor.

http://over-the-rainbow.org/main/topic9_6.htm#9_6_4_0

Going Dental

2006-03-05T07:52:00.000+11:00

My dentist is south african. He is a great guy plus every visit is painfree. (note here that I said PAINfree...not just free! )

His surgery is quite groovy for a dental clinic. Lots of nice bright colours like yellow and purple and some cute cartoons on the walls to lure the little ones into a sense of safety.

For the adults, there are lots of educational magazines to choose from. I mean where else would I learn about Scuba Diving in the Carribeans, Racing a Yacht around the world or having a romantic dinner in Monaco.

I'm a regular client, It's a shame they don't have one of those special deals, so that for every 5th treatment you have done you get the next one free.

My dentist is really gentle when it comes to injecting the aneasthetic into my gum, by far the best dentist and I've seen many, believe me. Sometimes I wonder whether a stronger aneasthetic should be used once again just before you are about to pay.

Last year I spend $A 1500.00 on one tooth ! My dentist had to refer me to see a specialist for a root canal therapy treatment on one of my back mollars. Think about what you can buy with that kind of money...maybe a new flat screen TV ?...a computer ?...a weekend away ?...The most disappointing thing about spending that kind of money on a tooth is that showing it off to your friends just doesn't quite have the same effect as when you bought yourself $A 1500.00 worth of clothes or jewellry.

It all started with pain and swelling in my face, it was late at night and I was getting kind of worried, my wife rang the emergency department of a close by hospital and in turn they gave us the emergency dentist phone number to ring. This dentist whom I didn't know, wanted to charge me just $A 100.00 for opening his door but wouldn't give me any information as to what he would do afterwards if anything. I think that before I give someone some money upfront and that person is going to be possibly working on my body, it gives me the right to be given some information as to what is going to happen. However my dental emergency phone call ended abruptly when he said " Look, I'm tired, I've had a long day and I don't have time for this kind of thing !" and then he hang up.
As an afterthought, it's probably best that I didn't go and have treatment with him since he was agitated and agro over the phone, he probably would have butchered me.

Anyway, that story took place last year however, yesterday my dentist started work on a new root canal ! ...wanna have a look ?

Biological malfunction

2006-03-03T16:20:00.000+11:00

Last Sunday my wife and I attended our great nephew's first birthday.
He's a cute little boy with big dreamy eyes.

For the occasion the whole family got together. His grandfather had rented one of those inflatable jumping castle, they were kids of all ages running around smiling and laughing. My niece and her friends had organised lots of games to keep the little ones happy. A real feast had been organised to cater for both adults and children.

Well it was one hell of a 1st birthday, that's for sure !

However there was something missing or I should say someone. Someone really important. Someone that this little man ought to be looking up to.
I think you guessed it ...his dad wasn't there !

The all mighty biological father of this child wasn't part of the festivities !

So where was he ? well he was on his way apparently, he wasn't coming from too far away, maybe 45 mns/1 hour drive. ....the party started at around 11h00 am, all the guest waited for him, by 2h30 pm it was decided to have lunch served since no one really knew when or if he'd show up.

Finally just before the cake was served around 4 pm, the father of the child arrived with his usual entourage of deadbeats !

What's the first thing he did ? go to the buffet with his friends and help themselves to some food.
Then he sat away from the crowd eating and drinking, he didn't even get up from his chair when my great nephew with the help of his mother cut the first slice of the cake.

My wife asked him how he was and his answer was " I think i'm pissed ".

When my niece first found out that she was pregnant, he disappeared for the first few months....

He seems to care a lot more about his appearance, with the latest trendy rapper looks, jewelry and all, just so that he can look like a really poor kid from the bronx, than he does about my niece and his child.

He's got no social skills whatsoever, last time my niece and him visited some family, he stayed in the car for the whole time not even bothering to come out to say hello.

The guy can't even eat spaghettis with a fork as my parents in law told us. He was invited there for lunch one day and well he really struggled with the fork concept so he ended up eating with his fingers.

All that, I am willing to forgive to an extent but turning up late and pissed for your child's first birthday is totally unforgivable ! All I can hope for my niece is that she eventually kicks him out and find someone else that will care for this kid.

So if creating a kid via DI with intent to give them love is more of a crime than being biologically linked to a child that you do not care about then I am guilty as charged.

Take some time to ponder those last two statistics while you're here.

1 - Over half of the 6.4 million pregnancies in the US in 1988 were unintended (56%). As many of those pregnancies ended in abortion (44%) as in birth (43%).

2 - In 1996, over half a million young women under age 20 gave birth, and two-thirds of those were unintended.

1 - Forrest JD. Epidemiology of unintended pregnancy and contraceptive use. American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology. 1994;170:1485-1489.

2 - Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. State-specific birth rates for teenagers-United States, 1990-1996. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. 1997;46:837-842.

Jet lag

2006-02-28T15:29:00.000+11:00

I've lost two hours sleep starting from last monday. Since I've had my accident, I have permanent medical restrictions that stop me from doing the job that I was doing previously. From the moment I returned to work, I've been shafted around to different positions.

For the last couple of months I was on loan doing some computer work, I started at 7 am which meant that I used to get up around 5 am. I'm meant to be starting a 3 months training/trial period on the 13 th of March in a new position but unfortunately I had to return to my previous post in the meantime.

That means that I now have to get up at 3 am everyday for the next two weeks. It's not that I live far from work, it's just that public transport sucks in Sydney. For me to get from A to B, I actually need to go to Z first !
Consequently I'm feeling pretty bugged at the moment. I like getting up early in the morning but that's pushing it a bit...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Eye Candy.

2006-02-26T18:55:00.000+11:00

For those of you who enjoy something different, have a look at a site called "worth1000.com". It's essentially a place where you will find great photoshop art as well as photography, text and multimedia works.
I am currently a member (Carpetshark) and from time to time I like to enter some of the advanced photoshop themed competitions. I have won several juror awards and even finished first in one competition.
Here are a collection of submitted works for you to enjoy. (Click on each pick for a closer look).

Sightings 6 (Over the limit)

Superstunts 6 (Yeehaaw ! )

Oxymorons (Classic Rock)

Mass destruction (Hang on !)

A question of taste.

2006-02-25T15:37:00.000+11:00

My other half arrived home from work with a packet of chips last night. She pointed to me excitedly that it was a new flavour ! Those chip were made to taste like "sausage sizzle".....makes me wonder....when will I be able to buy potato chips flavoured sausages ? Everything seems to be about new flavours these days, what's wrong with food that taste exactly like what they are made of ? lol

Liam Markus

2006-02-22T17:05:00.000+11:00

I've often wondered where are the DI happy kids, well I found one and i'm sure they are others but as my better half pointed out, people who are content with their life probably don't feel such a strong need to tell others.

On February 22nd 2004, the Australian branch of the TV program called "60 minutes " ran a story on DI which aired on channel 9. The interviewer was Tara Brown, I have edited it on purpose to highlight the responses to questions by a young DC man named Liam Markus who seems to be happy about who he is.

"INTRO — TARA BROWN: Back in the '70s it was seen as a noble community service, giving real hope to infertile couples … sperm donors, mostly young men, mostly students who did their bit to help create happy families. And in Australia alone, an estimated 10,000 babies were born thanks to this artificial insemination program. A happy ending you'd think, but no, those babies have grown up and many are disenchanted. Some are desperate to trace their biological fathers and some feel so cheated they want the whole program stopped to prevent any more children being born this way."

"......TARA BROWN: So what do you know about your donor father?

LIAM MARKUS: I know that he went to Duntroon Military College for two years, at least.

TARA BROWN: Twenty-five-year-old Liam Markus was conceived in Canberra thanks to a donation from a young military student.

Do you look into the faces of strangers you see on the streets and say, "I wonder if you could be my dad?"

LIAM MARKUS: Yeah, sometimes … yeah, I mean, of course it crosses your mind, you know, if someone sort of looks similar or something, but yeah, not normally.

TARA BROWN: He knows very little about his biological father and, apart from learning his medical history, has no driving urge to find him.

LIAM MARKUS: I think it's a brave decision, yeah. I mean, it can't have been easy to go into a sort of fertility clinic knowing that you're donating sperm to make people. Yeah, I'm glad that he did. I thank him for his genes wherever he may be and I'm really glad that he did.

TARA BROWN: And what did you think of your parent's decision to conceive you in this way?

LIAM MARKUS: It tells me they wanted me pretty bad, yeah. And I also feel very warm about that. They've obviously gone through a lot of pain and trouble to bring me into the world and I appreciate that fact.

......

TARA BROWN: For adults like Liam, the only chance they have of finding their biological fathers is if those men contact one of the voluntary registries throughout Australia. Even today, donors are still anonymous, except in Victoria, where, since 1998, they must be identifiable.

How do you feel about people who say that they have a right to know their biological history at all costs?

LIAM MARKUS: I mean, I respect their beliefs. I believe that I can understand how it could really become an overriding factor in your life. But as for myself, I'd have no desire to sort of go out there and make it the be-all and end-all of my life, and I'm happy."

http://sixtyminutes.ninemsn.com.au/sixtyminutes/stories/2004_02_22/story_1035.asp

Digital art

2006-02-19T21:55:00.000+11:00

A couple of my digital works incorporating photographs and photoshop techniques for you to enjoy.

Catch 22

2006-02-19T06:36:00.000+11:00

In reply to Michael Linden's post on Richard's blog post.

I am somewhat disapointed but at least your true colours are finally showing, I do not see any love in what you posted just a desire stronger than reason to win at all costs....and believe me at the end, it will not only cost the children but destroy the very thing that you are fighting for.

When I first started bringing the Tanglewebs people to my blog, I did it because I wanted to leave the channel open, but now I realise, Michael, that all you want to do is close it forever.

Tanglewebs may very well succeed in influencing governments and perhaps one day even convince them to ban the practice alltogether....but then you will just shoot yourself in the foot..

The only thing that you will succeed in doing with your radical views is to drive the practice underground. DC will not just disappear because a law is passed in parliament ! ...It may not be in your face anymore but it will be there. In fact I can anticipate that there would be a lot more abuse and misuse if it ended being the case, no one would ever tell their children in fear of reprisal for a start, money will still exchange hands, nothing will change. It will just be done in hiding, like abortion, in many countries where it is banned.

It's not because guns are outlawed that there is none.....
it's not because drugs are illegal that there is none...
it's not because abortion is illegal in 97 countries that none take place there....

I think you get the picture.

But then you'll be too busy celebrating your victory in the name of mankind, patting each other on the back for a job well done while the suffering will go on forever.

A small step for mankind, a giant leap towards stupidity.

Co - parenting

2006-02-18T09:08:00.000+11:00

The co-parenting option raised by "Lia" as a comment in my last post is certainly an interesting concept yet it only raises more questions. I couldn't agree more with "Richard's" response on the matter but I'd like to add a few more points.

First of all why is it that when some people talk about DI it always falls down to the rights of the biological father ?...as if a biological father is some kind of divine persona ? I think there is a bit too much ego tripping here. I have mentioned this in another post previously but I shall reiterate it ....what the biological father gives to a couple is not a child as such, it is only part of the equation. Sperm is... well exactly that...no matter what you do with your sperm alone it will not turn into a child.

In order to create life, that sperm will have to fertilise an egg....that egg belongs to the BIOLOGICAL MOTHER of that child.
She's the one who will be carrying the baby and after 9 months or so will give birth to a child. She's the other part of the equation, and her role is certainly just as important, (actually more important in my opinion), not only does she carry the child and the associated responsibilities but for those 9 months the embryo will be totally reliant on his mother.

The man on the other hand has it easy, and that's even in relations where fertility is not an issue. However I seldom see (I have not yet seen is probably more correct ) any post putting the biological mother on the same pedestal as that of the biological father in a DI conception. It's almost as she is of second rate importance, everything seems to revolve around the biological father...

So to return to the co - parenting issue...Well the biological mother of the child would have to agree first, then the Donor would have to agree as well ...not all Donors would necessarily want to become a co-parent, then the other parent of the child would need to feel comfortable with the idea...it's a bit like "menage a trois "and it would inevitably lead to unecessary tensions. That's a lot of people to consider...and I almost forgot...doesn't the child gets his say as well ??!!....NOT ALL Di conceived children have a need or a wish to meet there biological father ...Interesting how one can advocate about the rights of the child in regards to DI because they didn't have a say in that process but yet at the same time is prepared to relinquish those very same rights when it suits !

Co parenting would not be much dissimilar to having a dysfunctional family whereas two parents are divorced and then remarried and where both biological parents must share parental visits. Now this situation is very confusing at best for a young child.

Actually from my own experience as a kid of divorced parents, that's one sure way of screwing (excuse my French) with your child's mind.

There is also another issue with having a co-parent...I mean if they want to be part of my kids life from an early age. then they should also be prepared to share all the expenses involved in raising a child, be on hand to change nappies now and again and sign a contract that stipulates that should something happen to me, they would be responsible for the financial support of that child as any other parent is required by law

My kids would be free to contact their biological father at an age where they can make their own decisions and take their own responsibilities. or at least have a clear understanding and the maturity to deal with such a process.

The right to life. part II

2006-02-16T20:45:00.000+11:00

When I first thought about posting something on that subject, I knew I was opening Pandora's box. I hesitated many times before doing so, my better half thought that may be I should leave it alone because this is such a controversial subject. However my decision to go ahead was based on the fact that Tanglewebs had posted their views openly on their website.

Freedom of speech allows me therefore to post my own views on the subject as well. There is obviously a difference in opinion, that's a good thing I think, let's face it, if everyone agreed on everything the world would be a very boring place to live in.

There is a lot of talk about the hurt of the children but how does one measure pain ?

For the infertile couple the pain is absolute, for myself there is no chance for me to ever conceive without the aid of a biological donor (father). There is no one I can blame, no people to turn to, no organisation to support me, no chance of having my genetic condition reversed, no hope and let's not forget that I was once a child too. I was a child raised with the understanding that procreating was a natural part of life, the survival of the human kind, a primeval right.

So I am left with many questions unanswered, who am I ? Am I an anomaly, a freak of nature ?, What is my purpose in life ?...those questions haunt me at times, to the point where the thought of suicide has crossed my mind on occasion and I am probably not an isolated case.

However pain is a subjective thing...we all experience pain in many different ways and some cope better than others. I also see the word " intentionaly " mentioned in some of the posts but is my pain easier to live with because it just happened ? I don't believe so , Pain is pain whether it was caused with or without intent, like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, pain is a very personal thing.

As for couples intentionally creating hurt to a child because of their recourse to using DC, I think that nothing could be further from the truth. Infertile couples who go through with DC give themselves as a whole, there intent is to give love not create hurt. Not all children born via DC experience hurt, some do, some don't.

There is no doubt that there has been some abuse in the past, still is, and probably always will be to a point and because of that fact, there is a need to work on better regulations. For my part, I also believe in informing my children about how they came to be from an early age. We know that our donor is willing to be contacted and should my kids wish to do so, I would do all that I can in order for them to be able to make that genetic contact.

The X-MEN

2006-02-15T20:01:00.000+11:00

I remember how a young woman once messaged my better half . She was worried that her child might inherit a genetic defect refered to as 47 XXY or Klinefelter's syndrome (KS). She knew that I had this genetic anomaly and wanted me to advise her on what it was like to live a life with an extra X. She was actually seriously considering not having a child if she found out that he had KS.

When I was first diagnosed, it was during the course of an infertility test, it was last year and I'd just turned 41. The fertility specialist confirmed that I had azoospermia and mentioned something about being "Klinefelter". I had never heard of it before in my life and so when I got home, I jumped onto google and started to read everything I could find including forums and testimonies.

There was a lot of information out there which I skimmed through, some of the sites were about transexuals, others described symptoms which really seemed scary. So for the uninformed out there the idea of giving birth to a child with KS probably conjures up images of a mutant hairless creature with arms and legs like a spider and an IQ equal to one's house cat.

In reality while there are a list of symptoms or characteristics often seen with KS people, not every person is going to get all of them or any of them for that matter plus like any other diseases, symptoms can range from mild to more severe. The only common symptom is the fact that 47 XXY are infertile.

One of the common symptoms mentionned is that KS people are hairless and rather taller than the average. I have a goatee and while I am taller than my wife I'm certainly no giant at 171 cm. Also levels of testosterone may vary with this syndrome, for my part my levels are within normal range, on the lower end of the scale but within normal range nonetheless.

The strange thing though was that I found myself looking back at my life trying to find things that happened that may fill the 47 XXY mold. They are a few things that I can find during my adolescence where I can draw a line to it, but all in all I am mostly a product of my environment. Had my parents had known that I was KS my life may have been slightly different to a degree but I don't think that it would have changed in any great way.

One of the more worrying aspect of being KS for me is the greater likelyhood of developing some auto imune disease in later life but I try not to think about it too much, after all there are no guarantees in life and I could easily die from something else such as the time I had my motorcycle accident I could have died there and then, but it wasn't to be therefore I should live my life to the fullest.

So what is it like for me ?

I feel that I am less agressive than other males and perhaps more in tune with my feelings and those of others. When there is a party I find myself much more comfortable chatting with the women in the kitchen rather than being with the men talking about cars or blokey things. In a social setting I find people tend to open up more easily to me, perhaps because I appear to be non-threatening to most and because of my caring nature. Having said that I can also have my moods and if pushed past a certain limit people will know. I mean it's not because I am usually a nice person that any one should mistake me for a doormat either.

I find it hard to describe how It feels like exactly to be KS for me, however I like to think of myself as an "X-Man", to me it's not a deficiency but a genetic improvement since I have been given an Extra X which in turns brings to me some of the caring nature of women that many men lack of. It's the best of both worlds basically.

The right to life

2006-02-14T20:12:00.000+11:00

"TangledWebs Statement on Donor Conception (DC)"

"1 No-one has the right to a child. To claim the right to a child is to treat that child, another human being, as an end to satisfying one's own desires, as an object and not as a person. To claim the right to a child is to claim jurisdiction over another human being's life when they have no say in the matter, when they have not given their consent, informed or otherwise. The fact that DC children cannot give consent because they are not yet alive is not an argument for putting their interests to one side; rather it is a powerful argument for ceasing the practice of DC altogether, or at the very least for being extremely careful about and limited in the ways we practice it."

http://www.tangledwebs.org.au/

No child whether born through DC or more natural means have a say in the matter, now that is factual. Having a child is not a right to me because to bring the notion of "right or wrong" you have to have been influenced by your environment, it is based on a set of values that we learned as children in the first place and which become an issue seen and debated mostly by adults.
However If I was to follow this statement should we also stop all conceptions which may not be in the best interest of the child. This then becomes rather frightening when you think of all the children in this world that have potentially problematic childhood in front of them such as handicapped, poor or generally unhealthy kids. Then you have to look at the parents as well, should we allow parents to have kids just because they can ?

What about if you learned that someone in your family died of Cancer per say, there would obviously be a chance that you would pass on that gene to any future new born, so does that mean that you should not have children ?

Let's look at myself here for a minute. I've got a genetic disorder which stops me from creating life, who should I blame ? I mean, I never asked to be born with an anomality but I am happy to have been created, even though the fact that I cannot conceive causes me much grief at times, yet if we were to follow up that first statement it would mean that someone else could make that decision on my behalf before I was actually conceived....and what makes them think that they would have the right to take such a decision ?!

"The claim that to give the embryo the status of a human life means that we have to give the separate ovum and sperm also the status of human life is scientifically untrue and philosophically dishonest.

Conception is the first moment in the life of a human being when it can be said both scientifically and philosophically that there is now a distinct entity with all the necessary genetic attributes for being able to learn to read and write among any other endowments humans may have. The fact that a newborn baby only has the potential for such gifts in no way diminishes that child's humanity: the same thing applies to the human in the womb. Equally the fact that handicap may frustrate the development of such gifts makes a human child no less human any more than an ordinary person who through injury or sickness is deprived of speech or loses his/her memory becomes a non-person.

To claim that the ovum and sperm are human life can be likened to saying that arms and legs are human life. They most certainly are part of human life but they are not distinct entities and no matter how they grow they can never be anything other than arms and legs. In the same way no matter how the ovum develops of its own it can never be anything other than an ovum, unless it is fertilized. The embryo on the other hand simply has to grow and develop in the same way as a newborn baby or any other member of the human species.
A distinct individual of this sort commences when a single cell of human origin and with a human genotype gains the power to organize its own growth, multiplication and differentiation in a way which ordinarily leads to a human adult requiring nothing other than nutrition and a favourable environment.."

http://www.spuc.org.uk/ethics/art/intrusion-on-nature

The big 100

2006-02-11T18:17:00.000+11:00

I was reading a blog called "stella and/or Ben" where there was a post called 100 things. I found that it was not only a great idea in terms of giving readers a chance to know you a little bit more but also a chance to lighten up a bit . So here is mine.

1. I like my coffee black without sugar.

2. I can bend notes on my harmonica and sometimes even spoons when I hit the high notes.

3. I once had a pet rat named Charlotte.

4. My grandfather fought in the French Foreign Legion during WWII. He was awarded a medal for escaping from a POW camp and one for single handily shooting down an enemy airplane with a heavy machine gun.

5. I have a sweet tooth.

6. Therefore I visit the dentist often.

7. And consequently I could have upgraded my computer several times if not for spending money on my teeth instead.

8. I once had to wear a bear suit after loosing a bet with my wife.

9. I once was a PC user, then I met my wife, she convinced me to buy a Mac (under duress) lol.

10. I have pale blue eyes.

11. I wear glasses since as long as I can remember.

12. I can speak and write both French and English fluently.

13. I have written poetry in both languages in the past.

14. I was born with a talent for drawing. I can draw anything from memory in less than a minute except faces of people I know.

15. I have eclectic music tastes from Andrea Bocelli to ZZ top.

16. The band I'm obsessed with ATM is called " the Waifs ".

17. I have a full bar at home because I seldom drink.

18. When I was young I loved a French dish called "steak tartar" (raw horse mince served with raw egg, mustard and capers ) nowadays I won't touch any piece of meat unless it has been "nuked" beforehand.

19. I am not a religious person but sometimes it's nice to think that there may be something out there guiding our steps.

20. I was riding a Honda VT600 when I got T-boned by a car.

21. I'm lucky to have been able to visit many countries when younger.

22. I once ate moose stew in Norway near the Polar Circle.

23. I don't care what anyone else says but Belgium still produces the finest chocolates and the best beers.

24. I might be a Frenchman but I don't know much about wines except that the price of a bottle is not always relative to the way it taste.

25. I have one brother who lives with his wife and 2 kids in France.

26. Although I have a full motorcycle licence, I am still learning to drive a car

27. I left school at 16. I left home at 18..

28. I have a quiet nature, so people say, but ask my wife and she might tell you differently.

29. I love wide open spaces. (just as well I moved to Australia).

30. My wife caught me once playing the harmonica in the shower, our bathroom has great acoustics.

31. I did tertiary studies in fine arts in Australia.

32. I love any book written by "Nelson Demille".

33. Although I am not a bad cook, I don't cook often.

34. I don't have a green thumb but I manage to grow a variety of chilli peppers in my garden.

35. I have short brown hair and a goatee.

36. Writing this list is harder than I previously thought.

37. We have a goldfish called Marley and a snail called Barney. They go into a feeding frenzy each time we put a new plant in their fishbowl.

38. I share my bedroom with teddy bears, yes even at my age !

39. Pushing a shopping trolley with a broken wheel demands a certain amount of expertise hence why it is my job.

40. I don't like crowded places.

41. I was born under the sign of the Virgo but I am also a Dragon in the Chinese horoscope.

42. I usually get up early in the morning.

43. I've always been fascinated by sharks. I believe that they are not only the ultimate predator in the ocean but beautiful creatures as well.

44. I value honesty, trust and loyalty.

45. Some people say that I have a warped sense of humour.

46. Although I have a dual citizenship, I always travel on my Australian passport.

47. On September 11 2001, my wife and I learned of the tragic news while awaiting to board a flight from Denpasar airport in Bali to Sydney Australia.

48. When you think of how much we've progressed in the last 50 years thanks to new technology, why is it that no one has yet designed a machine where you can just throw your clothes in one end and shoots them out the other fully ironed !

49. It still takes me forever to write a 3 line SMS.

50. I'm not one to wear designer labels.

51. I eat almost everything, I love my veggies.

52. I am not slightly overweight it's just that I carry an extra chromosome !

53. I don't practice any sport and I don't particularly enjoy watching sport on TV unless it involves racing cars with vivid colours.

54. I sometimes enjoy watching Australia play rugby against France because the way I see it, I'm a winner either way.

55. I'm most definitively not a handyman, but I once managed to repair one of our door locks just by following instructions I found on the internet.

56. Are we there yet ?

57. I don't watch much TV because there's rarely something worth watching.

58. I've been connected to the internet since the mid nineties. It was very different then.

59. I met my wife via a single's website.

60. I enjoy digital medias and some of my works are displayed on this site "worth1000.com". You'll find me there under the nickname "Carpetshark".

61. I enjoy meeting new people online or otherwise and discovering new cultures.

62. I was an avid chess player when younger, and I managed to do the impossible, beat my grandfather once in front of my whole family. He was just as proud as I was.

63. My great grandmother whom I loved dearly had been deported to a concentration camp during WWII and still had a series of numbers tattooed on her forearm.

65. My grandmother on my mum's side died tragically when drug addicts broke into her house and tied her up to a chair then left. It was a few days before anyone realised and by then it was too late.

66. One of my uncle committed suicide for no apparent reasons less than two years ago and only 2 weeks before Christmas.

67. My father is the only member of my family that lives here in Australia. We mostly have a superficial relationship.

68. Choosing to come to live in Australia was one of the best decision I've ever made, It wasn't easy especially at the beginning, but I have absolutely no regrets.

69. it's not my favourite position.

70. I love video games, I have a playstation 2 and I sometimes play online on my computer. I'm a member of an online clan.

71. I've never had to wear a tie at work.

72. My better half reckons that I look good in pink.

73. My favourite colour is blue or black depending on the mood of the day.

74. I toured Victoria last year with members of my overseas family and didn't spot one single kangaroo to their disappointment.

75. There's a little shop in Apollo bay situated on the great ocean road In the state of Victoria that makes the best custard tarts I've ever eaten by far.

76. I once worked in animal husbandry as a primate handler.

77. I used to love watching "skippy the bush kangaroo" in France when I was only a kid, It made me dream of faraway places, I now live that dream.

78. I was exempt of doing my military service due to health issues at the time.

79. I've never been convicted of any crime, I've never even had a parking or speed ticket under my name.

80. I wonder how many of you managed to make it that far ?

81. Can I cheat and jump to 100 ?

82. I like exotic flavours and spicy dishes.

83. No, I don't have any alien abduction stories involving probes to tell you about.

84. My current mobile phone ringtone is a tune by los lobos called Spanish guitar I think.

85. I like percussion instruments and I own some bongos, 3 Djembe drums and a Darabouka drum as well. I can play a little.

86. I bought a guitar for my wife about 2 years ago for her birthday, she's still struggling with it.

87. Some of my favourite painters include, Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte.

88. I once went to the famous "folies bergeres" in Paris as an underage teenager. I was rather disappointed.

89. I've once dated a Tunisian, a Peruvian and an American girlfriend, but not at the same time of course !

90. I learn something new everyday in my life.

91. At home I do the vacuuming, oops where did the fish go ?

92. My wife wants me to get off the computer so that she can write her 100 list too !

93. For the Americans reading this, sorry but they are no kangaroos hopping in the streets of Sydney contrarily to what your travel magazines might tell you.

94. Before my accident 3 years ago, I'd never broken a bone in my body. Yet I managed to break one bone in nine places in one go during the accident.

95. I treat everyone with respect until they piss me off.

96. If I had more money and time, I'd like to travel and visit new places.

97. I'd like to see a great white shark up close and personal from the protection of a shark cage. I hear they do that in South Australia.

98. I'll pass that one...

99. Almost there....

100. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Lost in translation

2006-02-09T16:08:00.000+11:00

Well it sure has been a week out of the ordinary, I'm feeling rather exhausted today. Having this young French woman at home has been fun, we've shared a few laughs as our visitor is practicing her english and she sometimes gets words mixed up.
It's been a little bit tiring and confusing for me as I have to juggle between two languages for most of the time.
She plays the guitar well and so both my wife and I grabbed an instrument and tryed to play with her...I told them that we'd make a fortune busking in the streets, people would pay us to go away for sure ! ;)

We are hoping that she will find herself a nice little apartment to share before the end of this weekend.

It's another hot day here in Sydney and I'm dozing on the keyboard.

An unexpected overseas visitor.

2006-02-04T06:14:00.000+11:00

Yesterday we picked up from the bus stop this young french woman who is currently travelling in Australia and working in Sydney at the moment.
The story began when a common friend to my mum and I wrote me an email to let me know that her young neighbour was currently in Australia and that it might be nice if we met each other.
I just casually exchanged a few emails and phone calls with this unknown person and she seemed nice over the phone and then the other day she was struggling to find a room to rent for just a few days. She has found a place to stay starting from the 7th of February, but because she had to leave the previous flat she was in, the transition period prooved to be a bit more of a challenge in finding a place to stay than what she had anticipated.

After consulting briefly with my wife, I offered her to stay with us for a few days. My wife was a little bit apprehensive and I can understand this since we didn't know her at all. Plus under the circumstances we are currently in, I wasn't sure whether we were ready to share our personal space.

As it turns out she is a very bright young woman who speaks very good english and although she has only been with us since yesterday afternoon, we have kind of bonded straight away. She smiles a lot, has a great sense of humour and is very inquisitive.
Last night she played some french folk songs on our guitar, very nice !

It's kind of weird because I have become very protective of her very quickly, I find myself concerned over her safety .When you're 23 , you tend to be fearless, a little bit gullible and more likely to do silly things than when you are 41 and have a little bit more knowledge and experiences in your life.
So when she said casually that she was going to do some hitchhiking to come to our place, I kind of panicked in my mind, sure Australia is a "safe" country as opposed to others, but hey I wouldn't recommend for a young beautiful woman to go hitchhiking in any bloody country regardless on how "safe" it is rated!

So I had to tell her about the do's and don'ts for a few things, I translate stuff for her from french to english and vice versa and answer all her questions to the best of my ability. I kind of feel a degree of responsability towards her, and subconsciously I think I see myself as a "father figure".
I mean realistically speaking had I had children when young, I could have had a 20 something year old daughter, so it's kind of giving me a very small taste of what it must feel like to be a father and I find it very rewarding even with a total stranger. I really look forward to raising a kid ...

I think that it will do us good to have our overseas visitor sharing our home with us despite some of our early reservations . Sure she might be disrupting our space just a little, but I believe that it will do us good to focus on someone else for a change.

Oh well today is Saturday here, I have vacuum cleaning duties to assume among other things so "A bientot" and have a good and safe weekend wherever you are !

Letter to Michael

2006-02-02T15:51:00.000+11:00

For those who haven't been introduced, Michael Linden, is an ex donor who now believes that DI conception ought to be stopped. He his a member of a group called "tangledwebs" and You can find his blog "here".

Now I'm the kind of person who will always be opened to hearing from people whose beliefs might be different than mine. I believe that it is not only of utmost importance but that there is much to learn when looking at issues from another perspective.

Although I am happy for Michael to post freely on my blog even though I find some of his views to be somewhat extreme, I would like to comment on his last post which I'll quote ..

"Michael said...

Ultimately, the medical practitioners and infertility clinics are culpable and also the governments which via inadequate legislation or none at all have allowed them to get away with violating the donor conceived persons' rights. People seeking fertility treatment are merely pawns in their game and, of course, reliable sources of ongoing revenue."

To refer to TTC DI couples as "merely pawns" is rather demeaning. All couples make an informed choice. It's not as easy as trying to decide whether you're going to go for a pistachio or a chocolate gellato, it takes a lot and I mean a lot out of TTC couples.
It's a very hard decision to take and it is not taken lightly. We make a choice and accept the responsabilities.

It's somewhat arrogant to assume that we are being manipulated by the medical profession. It is a long and painful journey for most of us, some will call upon the generosity of a donor and the help of the medical profession but for others it will break them and they will forever loose their sense of purpose in life.

Now if you feel more comfortable being refered to as the "biological father" rather than the "donor", that's fine by me because it's really just about being politically correct more than anything else as far as I am concerned.

This is not about who is right or wrong, however may I suggest that when trying to bring your point of view across, you do so while keeping in mind that some of the people referred to as "merely pawns" are not just an abstract concept, they are very much alive and deserve some respect.

All in all let's face it no one is going to win a debate based on emotions. You are most welcome to keep on posting on this blog but please just don't patronise us.

Till death do us part.

2006-02-01T18:09:00.000+11:00

The other day I came home from work and found my wife home early. With tears in her eyes she said "it's not fair, what did we do to deserve this ?". It was just one of those days when emotions take over.For a lot of people, having a baby is sometimes almost taken for granted because it is such a natural part of life and yet others like us have to suffer for unknown reasons.
I feel sometimes angry at myself for bringing so much pain to her since we have been married.
You see we had a wonderful wedding, but shortly after, as I was riding my motorbike home, I got T-boned by a car who failed to give way.

I can't begin imagining what it must have been like for her to get a phone call from the police letting her know that her husband had been taken by ambulance to the hospital.
I remember seeing her in shock in the emergency room as doctors where frantically wiring my body to a number of machines. "It's Ok, I'm alright " I said, but I must have looked anything but alright with a neck brace on, a badly bruised shoulder, a broken wrist and an ankle which was so swollen it was almost the size of my thigh.

I spent almost 2 weeks in hospital and then a further 10 days in a rehab centre. During that time, I was totally dependant on the nursing staff, due to the nature of my injuries, I wasn't allowed to either put my right foot down or using my left wrist. I couldn't walk or wash myself and I even relied on someone to help me eat.

I can imagine the stress she was going through at the time, coping with work and not knowing if, when or how I was going to recover, but everyday she found the strength and took time to visit me. She was my daily dose of sunshine.

I eventually came out in a wheelchair and started rehab on both wrist and ankle, I averaged 5 physio sessions in as many days ...anyway those last two years have been punctuated with doctor's visits and numerous physio sessions some so painful, I was in tears by the end of it. My left wrist was shattered in 9 places. and required two surgeries...one to put 13 screws,3 wires and 2 Tplates to hold it together and 6 months later all the hardware had to be removed as my tendons were starting to rub against the plates. I suffered a crush fracture on my right ankle which required surgery also for a busted tendon. and finally I had surgery on my right shoulder as well.
Now I'm not telling you all this so that you can feel sorry for me, there are some people who have had much worse injuries than mine, it's just to give you an idea of what we've been through since our wedding.

And so it was in August last year, we were at my GP, she was explaining to me that some of my injuries will always remain, notably my ankle because it took the brunt of it all, and then in the same breath she told me that my test results had come back and that I had nil sperm in my ejaculate. It felt like as if the GP had just put the last nail in my coffin.

Also for the last 8 years my mother in Law who is a wonderful lady has been battling cancer and it has just been so hard for my wife emotionally those last two years that I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make all her worries go away. It's in times like these that I feel so powerless and at times guilty but I know that I have to remain strong, strong enough for the both of us.

I. DD, Love and cherish you. V, for being all that you are, and all that you can be. Know that I am here for you and that all your joys and pain will be mine. I ask for your love, your trust, your caring. I choose you to be my wife till death do us part.

Medical history.

2006-01-30T16:37:00.000+11:00

I was reading a post on "Di-dad"'s blog titled "a dad's worries about a sick child".

".....when I read about diseases that pass from donors to other donor conceived children that could have been prevented by increased screening techniques I worry about what could be out genetically waiting for my kids that I can do nothing about...."

One of the main reasons for the child's need to find information about his donor given by the medical profession relates to the importance of knowing one's own medical history.

This is all very good but how much do you know about your family medical history? Personally not a great deal. I know that my mum has recurrent sinusitis for example and it seems I have inherited part of it but believe me the fact that I know that we share a common ailment doesn't make me breathe any easier.

The other thing with medical history is that it is not good enough to know that for example your grandmother died of bone cancer, because the bone cancer might have been caused by breast cancer in the first place and that's what you need to be screened for.
So in conclusion it is not good enough to have a vague idea of what your medical history is...it needs to be very accurate.

On the other hand if you are not too sure, you could go and have some Genetic testing done. Unfortunately from what I understand, Genetic testing is not what it's all cracked up to be.

Limitations of genetic testing

Genetic testing isn't 100 percent predictive. Limitations to the predictive ability of genetic testing include:

Many genetic tests fail to detect all of the mutations that can cause a disease. Cystic fibrosis, for example, is linked to hundreds of mutations — most of which are rare. Other diseases are caused by mutations that can occur in one of several genes. So while you may test negative by current methods, you may have another unknown genetic defect that increases your risk of a particular disease.
A positive result doesn't mean you'll develop a disease. Genetic tests can't always tell you with certainty whether you'll develop a disease. They can only tell you that you have a mutation that's shown to be associated with the disease. Your probability of developing the disease may be low or high.
A negative result doesn't mean you won't develop a disease. Noninherited, sporadic gene changes can occur, or you might carry a different, unknown gene that increases your risk. For example, most cancers result from genetic damage that occurs after birth, such as from smoking or exposure to UV rays.
A positive test doesn't predict severity of the disease. For example, symptoms of cystic fibrosis range from mild bronchial abnormalities to severe lung, pancreatic and intestinal difficulties, regardless of results from genetic tests.
Individual genes are only part of the puzzle. Most cancers and common disorders such as heart disease arise from multiple causes, including interactions among several genes. A disease that runs in your family may be the result of shared environmental conditions, not genetics. Factors include diet, smoking and exposure to chemicals, sunlight and other forms of radiation.
Genetic testing can be expensive. Costs range from less than $100 to a few thousand dollars. Your health insurance may not cover testing.

Full article can be found "here"

In my case I happen to be "KS", it's a genetic condition that is not hereditary. It's just one of those things, no amount of testing prior to my conception was going to predict my dilemna. In fact It was through a fertility test that I found out about my condition at 41 years of age. Had I not been inclined to have children I'd probably wouldn't have ever found out.

Health in life is of utmost importance there is no doubt about it, but we cannot foresee, prevent nor cure everything and worrying about what might be, is detrimental to our wellbeing .

Life is just a big lottery....but had I been given a choice between getting "KS" and winning the lottery, I would've picked the latter.

Lost traditions.

2006-01-28T15:46:00.000+11:00

This morning, my wife and I went shopping and I was not only surprised but also disappointed in finding that our local supermarket was already selling Easter eggs.

I have fond memories of spending Easter at my grandparents place. Searching through their garden, which to my brother and I was like a vast mysterious jungle, for Easter treats that my grandmother had previously hidden. Christmas and Easter were special times.

Nowadays you can buy anything at anytime of the year and I think it is rather sad.

Ignorance is bliss ...or is it ?

2006-01-28T08:40:00.000+11:00

There is much turmoil in the world of DI these days. Should children born in this way be told of their origins? What are the rights of the Donors and the parent s who raise those kids ? Some believe that ignorance is bliss and choose not to tell while others believe that it is important to disclose that information for medical reasons and yet some ex donors believe that DI should cease because they feel a sense of loss that not only affects them but the children as well. I respect all of these views, I think that they all have their valid points.

Personally my wife and I agreed from the start that our potential donor conceived child should have the right to know how he/she came to be from an early age.

I find it interesting that "the rights of the children" is something mostly discussed and legislated by adults. No family unit is perfect regardless as to how the child was conceived. There are plenty of dysfuntional families out there so to say that a child would be the happiest if not born from DI is simply not true. There are no guaranties in life that a child born in a "normal" way within a family unit will not only love but be grateful to his parents forever.

When I look at my own family. My parents divorced when I was 16. Both my parents have remarried but my mum lives in France while my father lives with me in Australia. My brother who also resides in France has ceased all contacts with our mother (his personal decision), Both my brother and I find that we do not share much in common with our father, and I personally believes that I inherited much more from my mum's side rather than my dad's.
I have decided to remain neutral within our family nucleus and if anything it has taught me what NOT to do with my kids.
That goes to show that there is no direct link between the way in which you were created and your happiness as a child.

Also while there is much talk about Di, what about those thousands of children born out of wedlocks every year?

"Lansac" pointed out that in natural reproduction the child does not know the secrets of his parents. He also estimated that in France, 10 000 children are born by adultery each year and there has been no claim that this should be revealed to the children.

(Lansac J: One father only: donor insemination and CECOS in France. Politics Life Sci 1993)

Victorian Laws.

2006-01-27T21:47:00.000+11:00

"Under the State Law of New South Wales the husband who consents in writing to receive treatment by donor insemination is deemed to be the legal father of the child born as a result of the procedure. He therefore has all the legal rights and obligations of such fatherhood and the child is in all ways "legitimate". Birth certificate is filled out as though it were an otherwise normal pregnancy."

(Department of reproductive medicine, patient information, donor insemination.)
In the state of Victoria laws differ greatly:

Here is an article that appeared in "The Age" newspaper today.

Bid to ease trauma as donors seek children

PARENTS will be encouraged to tell their children if they were conceived through donor sperm in a public education campaign expected to start in April.

In a move that has upset doctors, it is believed that the State Government is unlikely to adopt interim recommendations by the Victorian Law Reform Commission that sperm donors not be permitted to initiate contact with their biological children.

The $100,000 campaign will include counselling for families with donor-conceived children.

It comes after The Age revealed last year that under present laws, children of sperm donors may be contacted by the Infertility Treatment Authority asking for their consent to meet their biological fathers. Children will also have the right to initiate contact. The child must be 18. The first to be affected by the law will turn 18 in July but research suggests only one in three children knows they were conceived with donor sperm.

A Government spokesman denied it was going against the commission's recommendations, as they did not address the issue of whether the changes should be retrospective.

Authority chief executive Louise Johnson said identifying information could be released only with the consent of child and donor.

But Monash IVF managing director Donna Howlett said donor-initiated contact could have serious consequences.

CAROL NADER

Introduction.

2006-01-27T17:48:00.000+11:00

Hi and welcome to my blog. I'm DD (aka Dynamodad) and as the title says a hopeful dad to be. In August last year I found out that I had a medical condition called Klinefelter's syndrome that would prevent me from ever producing children of my own.
It was obviously devastating for both myself and my wife. Thankfully mostly to the generosity of a donor and the advance of science in the world of reproductive medicine we have decided to embark on a journey of hope via Donor Insemination.

This journal was inspired by di-dad's blog to which you will find the link on this page. I would like to credit him for having the courage of bringing what is still regarded as a taboo subject in our society, out in the open, in the form of an informative and at times a touching blog.
Male infertility and its ramifications has for too many years been a subject that most people would rather avoid.
I feel that ,we as men are partially responsable for the fact that there isn't much help and support available to others like us, we must learn to put our machismo aside at times in order to make the broader population aware and to reach up to others in need. Thus I hope to follow in the steps of Di-dad but from an Australian perspective.